As a mom, you’ve most likely heard the term “mommy brain” used to describe being more forgetful or more emotional once you’ve had your first child. It can sometimes wreak havoc for accountant moms who are ordinarily organized and even-tempered.
Also referred to as “pregnancy brain” and “baby brain,” these non-medical terms are used to describe many cognitive changes pregnant women face. For some, these changes present as forgetfulness or memory loss. For others, it’s a haziness or brain fog.
Neurologically your female brain goes through many changes during pregnancy, but as a modern woman with a career, this can be very challenging. Think about it – just a century ago, most women were responsible for giving birth and raising children, not working outside the home to support them economically as well.
Unfortunately, terms like “mommy brain” add to the preconception that pregnancy makes someone less capable. While women do go through various changes, it’s also important not to assume that a soon-to-be or current accountant mom is any less capable than anyone else; in fact, she might now be more capable than before.
In order to continue to have a successful accounting career while also being a mom, it’s important to understand your accountant mom’s brain better. With a deeper understanding, you can work with it rather than being at the mercy of it.
The truth is that once you understand your accountant mom’s brain better, you’ll excel in ways you didn’t know you could. You’re already smart, but by understanding your brain better, you’ll actually be able to be much smarter.
This week I’m going to discuss 3 things you should know about your accountant mom’s brain and why they’re important.
You’re not crazy
If, like most female accountants, you went to the best college possible, possibly passed the CPA exam, and started your accounting career, your brain assigned most of its neural pathways to the skill of doing your job well. Early on, your brain was wired to focus and help you to “bond” with your career path.
As time passed, you probably met someone and fell in love, dividing your career-focused brain between your job and your new love. You probably noticed that it became more challenging to focus only on work when love was in the air.
As even more time passed, you eventually had a child, and your brain changed once again. The truth is that once you become a mom, your brain undergoes even more changes, which just happen to be the most profound and permanent of your life.
Here’s the thing – you can be the most career-oriented accountant, but once you have a child, you might begin thinking, feeling, and doing things differently without necessarily understanding why. This is when an uncomfortable tug-of-war can happen between your role as an accountant and your role as a mom.
On the one hand, you probably have the need for financial security and career success; on the other hand, you have the responsibility, pleasure, and pressure of having and raising children. You’re in two separate worlds, trying to do your best in both.
If you’ve been feeling increased stress, anxiety, and reduced brain power, you’re not crazy. That is just your brain’s response to the conflict between your roles as both an accountant and a mom.
With all the hormonal changes that had to happen in order for you to have a child, you’ve basically gone through a caterpillar-butterfly metamorphosis. Some of those changes need some getting used to, but the good news is that they can also enhance your accounting career.
I remember returning to work after maternity leave and feeling like I was dropped on a remote island where I didn’t fully understand the language of the natives. I needed to get used to all the changes I had gone through physically and emotionally and ease back into my old job but with my new life.
With greater awareness and compassion, as opposed to self-judgment, your changing brain can work for you rather than against you. The fact is, your accountant mom’s brain is more valuable than it was before you had children.
The value of your changing brain
It’s not a big deal to misplace your keys or call one of your children by their sibling’s name, but when it comes to your accounting career, understanding and getting mommy brain under control is important. Accounting requires attention, focus, and analysis, all of which can become temporarily challenging when you become a mom.
In the book “The Female Brain,” author Louann Brizendine, MD, discusses issues for working moms transitioning from a self-sufficient lifestyle to living for two (or more). She explains, “For as long as her child is living under her roof, her GPS system of brain circuits will be dedicated to tracking that beloved child.”
Although this might seem disheartening at first, the changes that happen to your female brain when you become a mom can actually benefit your accounting career. In a male-dominated profession like accounting, it can be beneficial to know what makes you even more valuable as a female accountant.
Even though you might be more distracted as a working mom, it’s also important to note that your female brain comes with powerful advantages as well. Some of the important skills that can help your female brain succeed in an accounting career are:
Extreme ability to read faces, interpret tones of voice, and register the nuances of emotion – this makes it easier for us to pick up on things with our clients or colleagues that others might miss. We also have a higher EQ, or emotional intelligence, which studies have shown to have a direct impact on career success.
Skilled at asking questions and picking up verbal and non-verbal communication – once we have children, we become so attuned to their needs that picking up verbal and non-verbal clues often becomes our superpower. By honing that superpower in our work, we are able to stand out.
With women’s intuition, we can size up another person or situation much faster – while women are typically intuitive creatures, once we become moms, we seem to get an even stronger sense of intuition. We know when something just doesn’t feel right, even if we can’t explain it logically.
Our brain is naturally wired for collaboration as opposed to aggressive competition – the female brain is wired for leadership, making complex decisions, empathy, and collaboration easier. The higher executive functioning part of the human brain is larger and matures faster in women than in men, making it easier for women to collaborate and play well with others.
Women are natural networkers, having a greater advantage in the age of social media – we are naturally interested in family relationships, and therefore, our questions can establish bonds, making a relationship less formal and more personal. It’s often easier for us to ask what a person is trying to achieve and what dreams they have.
Before being a mom, I was definitely more career and self-focused, making decisions solely based on how they would affect only me. But once I became a mom, I felt a much deeper sense of inclusivity and nurturing to those around me, which actually made me a better leader.
When working with clients, I am much more intuitive and patient than I was before having children. My accountant mom’s brain understands concepts and people at a deeper level, making me even more valuable to my employer and my clients.
It’s important to understand that all phases of our lives come with physical, emotional, and neurological changes; however, by understanding your accountant mom’s brain better, you can use it to your advantage.
The best environment
At the beginning of your accounting career, you may have been more adaptable to your workload and work environment. But now that you are an accountant and a mom, you may have noticed difficulty with unpredictability.
This is understandable since your brain already hates uncertainty; now, it’s not only concerned with you but also with your children. Your brain interprets uncertainty and unpredictability as a threat to your survival, thriving on things being the same and controllable.
This is why the best environment for an accountant mom’s brain is one that is as predictable as possible. Not only will you experience less stress, but your children will also experience lower levels of stress as well.
The most stressful thing for me once I had my first child, was consistent daycare. The first babysitter I had would often call me at 6 am to tell me that she couldn’t watch my daughter that day for various reasons.
Always being on edge, wondering if I would have someone to take care of my daughter, made it incredibly hard to focus on being my best at work. It felt like I was always on the edge of a mental breakdown while never wanting to “let them see me sweat.”
What helped me tremendously was having a predictable Plan A, B & C, no matter what the situation was. When it came to childcare, Plan A was the normal babysitter, Plan B was my aunt who lived close to where I worked and could fill in when I was in a bind, and Plan C was letting my boss decide if he wanted me to bring my daughter into work.
I remember one tax season when I was stuck and didn’t have a babysitter one day. My boss let me bring my daughter and teenage sister-in-law to the office and set up an empty conference room as a makeshift daycare.
As author, Louann Brizendine, MD, explains, “It’s not about how many resources are available; it’s about how regularly they can be obtained.” Getting clear about what you need and setting up as predictable an environment as possible will help you to be at your best at work and at home.
So how do you handle the unpredictability of life? I would add that learning the skill of managing your brain can make it much easier to handle the unpredictable as well. We aren’t in control of a lot of what happens at work and at home, but we are in control of how we think about it all; I believe that’s the most important thing to know about your accountant mom’s brain.
Thankfully, the beautiful gift of having a child doesn’t have to detrimentally affect your accounting career. With a better understanding of your accountant mom’s brain and knowing what makes you uniquely you, you’ll be able to have a flourishing career while also raising a loving family.
Summary
Think about it – just a century ago, most women were responsible for giving birth and raising children, not working outside the home to support them economically as well.
You can be the most career-oriented female CPA, but once you have a child, you will most likely begin thinking, feeling, and doing things differently without necessarily understanding why.
Even though you might be more distracted as a working mom, it’s also important to note that your female brain comes with powerful advantages as well.