I was asked to do a presentation for a Women in Accounting conference last month, but due to my surgery and cancer diagnosis, I wasn’t able to attend the conference. Of course, my health had to come first, but to be honest, I was really bummed about not being able to do my presentation.
Not only do I think it’s important to support women in accounting and those in leadership roles, but I also have a different perspective than you might expect. I planned on explaining the secret that no one tells us about being a leader, whether it’s at work or home.
The title of my presentation was going to be “The Most Important Thing You Do As a Female Leader.” And since I couldn’t do the presentation then, I figured why not share it with The CPA MOMS Podcast audience now?
Whether you’re currently in a leadership role, considering one, or aren’t sure, this episode will be incredibly helpful, especially because you’re going to be surprised at what I share about the most important thing.
The truth is that being a leader isn’t just about having a fancy job title or being able to get people to do what you need them to do. It’s actually less about others and more about ourselves.
In professions like accounting, where, unfortunately, there aren’t many women leaders, stepping into a leadership role can be tough. Believe me, I get it, but it’s also a chance to show how strong and capable we are.
I’ve been in this profession for over 30 years, and I believe the accounting profession—and really the world at large—needs more women transitioning to leadership roles. In fact, I just think women make better leaders.
This isn’t about putting down men or saying one gender is superior. It’s about recognizing the unique strengths and perspectives that women bring to leadership roles. And if you’ve been listening to this podcast and have been open to what I’ve shared in the past 300 episodes, you’ve already got a leg up on the competition.
Here’s what I really want you to understand – whether you’re a leader at work or not, you are a leader due to the fact that you’re a mom. The truth is that your role as a leader with your children is probably the most important leadership role you’ll ever have.
That’s why I want you to listen to this episode and consider the questions at the end. As I shared in episode #300, I’m going to start providing questions at the end of each episode so that you’re not just passively listening, but doing something with the information in each episode.
This week I’m going to discuss the most important thing you do as a leader, your brain’s role in being a female leader, and the #1 tool you need to be a better leader.
The most important thing you do as a female leader
Let me start by asking you a quick question – what do YOU think is the most important thing that you do as a leader? Really think about that. What is the most important thing that you do?
Is it being a good person? Being trustworthy? Making a difference in the world? Having good people skills? Being a good problem solver? Is it having certain traits like integrity, confidence, courage, or effectiveness? Is it a combination of these?
Here’s what I want you to know: The most important thing that you do as a leader is think. That’s right – you think.
Unfortunately, most of our thoughts come from our default brain. They’re not intentional; they’re automatic and do not create the feelings, actions, or results we really want.
That’s why, to be a good leader, you need to understand your brain better. It’s also why you need to understand how to train your brain.
The truth is that we have over 60,000 thoughts a day, and most of them come from the default part of our brain, which I’ll discuss in a minute. It’s important to understand that we all have the freedom to choose our thoughts.
We are able to think any thought we want, any time we want. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always feel this way.
It seems like our brain just has thoughts; we don’t know where they come from, we can’t always control them, we don’t always like them, and many are not helpful or useful.
Here’s the thing – you’re already smart, or you wouldn’t be an accountant. But the hard truth is that you aren’t using your brain to the best of its ability.
There’s no doubt you are smart, but you actually aren’t being as smart as you could be. There is SO much more your brain can do! Throughout this episode, I’m going to be telling you all about your brain, why you need to know how to train it, and how.
I’m also going to explain why this is so important for you both professionally and personally. I promise, you’re going to be pleasantly surprised about what’s possible when you learn how to train your brain.
Your brain’s role in being a female leader
The first thing you need to know is that your brain plays a huge role in your ability to be a leader. In fact, understanding how your brain works and how to train it is one of the most important skills you could ever learn.
So I’m just going to now share a super simple, quick way to understand how your brain works. I’ve mentioned this on the podcast before, but I think it’s time to revisit it.
You have two main operating systems going on in your brain that you need to get familiar with. Knowing the difference between the two, and understanding how to manage them, is going to give you a much better chance of being the best leader you can be and having an easier, more sustainable accounting career.
System 1 is your primitive, lower brain, and System 2 is your higher, advanced brain. System 1, the primitive brain, operates on autopilot and is in charge 80 – 90% of the time.
This part of the human brain has been with us since humans lived in caves and it is motivated by 3 things, referred to as The Motivational Triad. It’s motivated to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy.
Similar to a young child, it throws tantrums, which is why I refer to it as The Toddler. The Toddler brain focuses on immediate gratification and could care less about the long-term consequences of your actions.
You may not know this, but it does NOT like doing complicated things like accounting work. It’s why a lot of what we do as accountants can feel so stressful. Our Toddler brain is absolutely NOT on board with accounting work!
The reason is all because of the Motivational Triad: Accounting work is often not pleasurable, it can be painful, and it takes a lot of mental energy to do what we do; all going against the Motivational Triad.
Thankfully, we also have System 2, which is the higher brain. This is the prefrontal cortex, a higher-level part of the brain that developed over time and is only present in humans.
It is the executive functioning part of our brain and it has the ability to manage the primitive, Toddler brain or System 1. I like to refer to System 2 as the “Supervising Parent” because this part of your brain can think rationally and see the big picture benefits that the Toddler can’t.
System 2 is the part of the brain you use to make better decisions and is one of the most underutilized parts of brain because you’re often reacting with the primitive brain, or System 1. Again, the Toddler brain is in charge 80-90 % of the time.
The superpower of this part of your human brain is that it allows you to think about what you think about. You’ll see why this is so incredibly important when it comes to being a leader in a few minutes.
The other amazing thing about our human brain is that System 2 has the power to override System 1 and make conscious choices. In other words, training your brain means using System 2 to override System 1.
Just like you, I had no clue how my brain worked and how much System 1 influenced my life. It showed up as things like stress and feeling overwhelmed, and it affected my productivity, relationships, and every aspect of my career and life.
But I discovered there is a better way, and that’s what I want you to know. There’s a better way, even if you’ve never been shown it before.
The #1 tool you need to become a better leader
The truth is that you have the best piece of machinery on the planet, and no one has ever given you the instruction manual for it…until now! You are going to want to know your particular instruction manual.
So how do you train your brain so that System 2, the Supervising Parent is in charge more often? What I discovered in my studies to become a Professional Certified Coach For Accountants is a tool called The Model.
The Model is a formula that allows us to understand the connection between our thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. It helps us to learn how to train our brains.
Again, the most important thing you do as a leader is think, and by learning how to train your brain, you’ll be able to think in a way that makes it possible for you to feel focused, motivated, determined, and empowered. And when you feel any of those emotions, you’re more likely to take empowered action leading to better results.
I explained The Model in my book “The Smarter Accountant,” but let me briefly explain it here. The Model shows us that everything in our lives can fall into one of 5 categories – it’s either a circumstance, a thought, a feeling, actions, or a result.
It seems simple, right? Don’t be fooled by its simplicity because this formula will bust those myths you have about what’s “normal” for accountants, like stress, overwhelm, and working too many hours. It will also help you become smarter in the process, and when you become smarter, you become a better leader.
The Model teaches us that facts are neutral but it’s our brain’s interpretation of the facts that give them meaning. In other words, there are circumstances in our lives but it’s the thoughts our brain has about those circumstances that make them mean something to us.
When we learn to recognize the difference between the actual facts and our brain’s interpretation of the facts, we gain so much control over ourselves and any challenges we face or goals we have. This understanding gives us leverage to navigate our lives more effectively and to become better leaders.
Now, let’s apply this concept to a real-life scenario. Consider a situation where you have work deadlines, a team meeting, and your daughter’s soccer game to attend. Those are all neutral facts; they don’t mean anything until your brain makes them mean something.
But if your brain thinks, “I just have too much to do” or “There isn’t enough time to get this all done,” either one of those thoughts is going to make you feel overwhelmed. And since your feelings drive your actions, then the feeling of overwhelm will probably have you spinning in confusion about what to do first, procrastinating, checking email, complaining, snapping at others, not making a plan and following it, not asking for help, and not focusing.
And what would be the result? You would create more for yourself to do because of your ineffective actions.
And why did you take ineffective action? Because you were feeling overwhelmed.
And why did you feel overwhelmed? It wasn’t because of the fact that you had work to get done, a meeting with your team, and you had to be home on time for your daughter’s soccer game; it was because System 1, your Toddler brain, thought “I just have too much to do.”
That simple thought made you feel overwhelmed, had you taking ineffective action, and led to an unwanted result. As you can imagine, it would also have you showing up as a leader in a less than effective way as well.
But the good news is, when you learn how to manage your brain, you can manage everything else, especially how you show up. When you take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, actions, and results, you become someone that others trust.
Bottom line: if you want to be a better leader, whether that’s at work or at home, you have to manage your thoughts. They are the secret to great leadership.
Questions to consider:
Have you ever noticed how your thoughts influence your actions in challenging situations? When was the last time managing your thoughts could have changed the outcome?
How do you typically handle stress or overwhelm? Explore how using The Model framework discussed in this episode could help you navigate such situations more effectively and lead to better results.
Think about a time when you reacted impulsively instead of thinking things through. How might becoming more aware of your thought patterns and intentionally choosing your responses improve your leadership skills?