Today is about a topic that many accountant moms deal with: your spouse might not really get what it’s like to be an accountant. They know you work hard, but they might not fully understand what your job really involves.
Maybe they see you sitting at your desk, typing away at spreadsheets, or taking calls from clients, but they don’t realize just how much pressure you’re under. They might not know about the tight deadlines, the need to be super accurate, or how draining it can be when work spills over into your personal life.
It’s not that your spouse doesn’t care—they probably just don’t see things from your perspective. Accounting can seem pretty straightforward to someone who isn’t in the field.
They might think, “Oh, it’s just numbers, how stressful could that be?” But you know it’s so much more than that. There are long hours, complex problems to solve, and sometimes, it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
Let’s say you’re working on a work project and your spouse texts to ask if you can run an errand. To them, it seems like a simple request. But for you, it’s a big interruption that pulls you away from something that needs your full attention.
It’s not that they’re being inconsiderate—they just don’t get how hard it is to switch gears in the middle of something important. This can lead to frustration on both sides. You might feel like they don’t appreciate how hard you’re working, while they might feel ignored or unimportant.
And then there’s the weekend. For many families, weekends are a time to relax and have fun. But for you, weekends might be when you catch up on work you didn’t get to during the week.
So, when your spouse suggests a spontaneous day trip or family activity, you’re stuck between wanting to go and knowing that if you don’t catch up on work, next week will be even more stressful. Saying no can make you feel guilty, but you also know that your job doesn’t stop just because it’s the weekend.
If any of this sounds familiar, it can create a sense of isolation. You might find yourself thinking, “If only they understood what it’s like.” It’s not about wanting sympathy; it’s about seeking understanding.
When your spouse doesn’t get what it’s like to be an accountant, it can add an extra layer of stress to an already demanding life. But with patience, communication, and a bit of effort, it’s possible to bridge that gap and create a more supportive and understanding partnership.
Even if you have a very supportive spouse, keep listening, because there may be some things you can implement to make things run even smoother than they already do.
This week, I’m going to discuss the unique challenges of being an accountant mom, common misunderstandings between spouses, and suggestions for getting your spouse on board.
Unique challenges of being an accountant mom and common misunderstandings between spouses
Although most working moms face challenges balancing their work life and personal life, I want to address the unique challenges that I believe many accountant moms face that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
First, we are in an industry with high-pressure deadlines and peak seasons. Whether you’re in public accounting dealing with tax season or in private accounting facing quarterly reports, the pressure is intense.
Deadlines loom large, and the workload can be overwhelming. It’s okay to feel stressed during these times; you’re not alone in this.
The next challenge is balancing client expectations with family time. Clients depend on you to manage their finances accurately and promptly. This often means that even when you’re at home, you’re often thinking about work.
You might be in the middle of helping your child with homework when a client calls with an urgent question. It’s a constant juggling act, and sometimes, it feels like you’re being pulled in two directions. It’s natural to feel torn; many accountant moms face this struggle daily.
The next challenge is continuous learning and staying updated with regulations. As we all know too well, the accounting field is always evolving. New laws, regulations, and best practices emerge regularly.
Staying current is essential, so you spend extra hours reading up on the latest changes, attending webinars, or even taking courses. It’s like being a perpetual student while also managing your career and family. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed with the continuous learning.
Unfortunately, even with all these responsibilities, there are often common misunderstandings between spouses that add to the challenge.
The first is the misconception that accounting is just number-crunching. Many people think accounting is just about adding and subtracting numbers.
They may not understand that what you do is a lot more than just a math problem. If your spouse doesn’t see this complexity, it’s normal to feel misunderstood.
The second misunderstanding is underestimating the mental load and stress involved. The stress of accounting isn’t always visible, especially when we’re trying our best to not let others see us sweat.
The truth is that it’s not just the physical act of working late hours; it’s the constant worry about making mistakes, meeting deadlines, and keeping clients happy. This mental load can be heavy and draining. Feeling mentally exhausted is a common experience for many us.
The third common misunderstanding is the lack of awareness about the time commitments, especially during busier times like tax season. If you’re in public accounting, you know that tax season is a beast of its own.
The hours are long, and the work is relentless. Your spouse might not realize that during this time, free time is a luxury.
They might expect you to be as available as you are during the off-season, which can lead to frustration on both sides. It’s perfectly understandable to feel frustrated by this lack of awareness.
And the fourth common misunderstanding is not recognizing the importance of quiet and uninterrupted work time. Most non-accountants don’t understand that accounting requires a lot of concentration.
It’s not something you can do well with constant interruptions. Your spouse might not understand why you need a quiet space to work or why a simple interruption can throw off your entire workflow. Needing uninterrupted time is crucial; don’t feel guilty for requiring this.
The thing is, these challenges and misunderstandings can often create tension and stress in your relationship. But understanding these problems is the first step towards finding solutions that work for both you and your spouse.
Suggestions for getting your spouse on board
Before I share some suggestions, I just want you to give yourself permission to ask for what you need. I know it can be challenging, but a true partnership supports both people in the relationship.
So, let’s start with how you can help your spouse understand the complexity of your work. Sometimes, it helps to break things down into simpler concepts. Instead of talking about tax codes or financial regulations, try using analogies.
For example, you could compare balancing a client’s books to keeping a household budget or organizing a big event. This way, your spouse can grasp why your work can be so intricate and demanding. Remember, it’s okay to take the time to explain; it creates understanding instead of frustration.
Next, you can try sharing a typical day/week in your life to highlight your responsibilities. One of the best ways to help your spouse understand your workload is to walk them through a typical day or week.
For example, explain how your day starts early, how you manage client meetings, handle urgent emails, and tackle big projects. It’s important they see your daily efforts and challenges.
The third suggestion is to discuss the importance of deadlines and their impact on your schedule. As we all know, deadlines are a huge part of accounting, and they can create a lot of pressure.
Talk to your spouse about why these deadlines are non-negotiable and how missing one can have serious repercussions. Share how these deadlines impact your work schedule, especially during peak times like tax season or end-of-year reporting. They need to understand why you’re stressed during these periods.
The fourth suggestion is emphasizing the need for support during peak times. Explain to your spouse that your workload will spike during certain times of the year.
This is when their support is crucial. Let them know that their understanding and help can make a big difference in reducing your stress and helping you manage everything more effectively. Encourage them to see how their support can positively impact your well-being.
Now, I want to share some practical strategies for bridging the gap between your work and home life.
First, set up regular check-ins to discuss work and home balance. For this suggestion, schedule regular times to sit down and talk about how things are going at work and at home.
This can be a weekly check-in where you both share what’s on your plate and discuss any upcoming busy periods or family events. Regular communication can create mutual understanding and support.
Next, create a shared calendar to keep track of important work deadlines and family commitments. This way, your spouse can see when you have crucial deadlines coming up and plan family activities accordingly.
It helps everyone stay on the same page and reduces the chance of conflicts. Coordinating schedules can make life smoother for both of you.
The next suggestion is to establish clear boundaries and signals for when you need focused work time. Create a system of signals or boundaries that indicate when you need uninterrupted work time.
This could be as simple as closing your office door or putting on headphones. Make sure your spouse knows these signals so they understand when it’s critical to give you space. Setting these boundaries is essential for maintaining productivity and reducing stress.
Another suggestion is to create a family culture of mutual support and empathy in your household. Just as you need an understanding of your work demands, offer the same empathy towards your spouse’s responsibilities and stresses. Mutual respect and support can strengthen your relationship.
Also, don’t hesitate to ask for help from family members or hire external help during peak times. Whether it’s getting someone to help with childcare or hiring a cleaning service, easing your household burden can free up your time and reduce stress.
Since one of the biggest challenges for most working moms is household responsibilities, don’t be afraid to delegate more effectively. Divide household chores and responsibilities in a way that feels fair and manageable.
If you’re swamped with work, let your spouse take on more home tasks and vice versa. Clear communication about who’s handling what can prevent misunderstandings and resentment.
Last but not least, remember to take care of yourself. Self-care is essential to avoid burnout.
Whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or simply taking a few minutes to relax, make time for yourself. If your level of stress feels too overwhelming, consider seeking professional help or counseling to manage the load better.
Now, I just want to recap the key points I discussed because I covered a lot. Being an accountant mom isn’t easy, but it’s even harder when your spouse doesn’t fully understand the demands of your work. Thankfully, with clear communication and practical strategies, you can bridge that gap and create a more supportive partnership.
What I covered today is encouraging more open communication and mutual support. Explain the complexities of your work in simple terms, share your daily and weekly responsibilities, and discuss the importance of deadlines. Highlight the need for support during peak times, and involve your spouse in your work process to increase their understanding.
Practical strategies like setting up regular check-ins, using a shared calendar, and establishing clear boundaries for focused work time can help manage both roles effectively. Building a supportive environment by sharing household responsibilities and seeking help when needed is crucial.
Remember, self-care is essential to avoid burnout, and it’s okay to seek professional help if the stress becomes overwhelming.
If you are in the CPA MOMS private Facebook Community, we’d love to hear from you. Share your own experiences and tips. How have you managed to balance your work as an accountant with your family responsibilities? What strategies have worked for you in fostering understanding and support from your spouse?
Just remember that empathy and teamwork are vital in balancing professional and personal life. With patience, clear communication, and a bit of effort, you can create a more harmonious and supportive environment at home.
Questions to consider:
Question: “How can I better explain the complexities of my work to my spouse?” Take a moment to think about simple analogies or examples from your daily tasks that can help your spouse understand the intricacies and demands of your role as an accountant mom.
Question: “What practical strategies can I implement to improve communication and support with my spouse?” Consider setting up regular check-ins, using a shared calendar, and establishing clear boundaries for focused work time to create better communication and mutual understanding in your household.
Question: “How can I ensure I’m taking care of myself while balancing work and family responsibilities?” Reflect on ways you can incorporate self-care into your routine, whether it’s setting aside time for a hobby, exercise, or simply taking a few moments each day to relax and recharge.