Whether you realize it or not, we all possess both feminine and masculine energy, whether you identify as a woman, man, or non-binary. To varying degrees, we all have the yin and the yang, and the balance of these energies is used in many different aspects of our lives.
While feminine energy is more common in women, and masculine energy is more dominant for many men, in reality, we are all a combination of both energies. Most of us default to a preference, and sometimes that default goes against gendered assumptions.
When it comes to being a female accountant in a male-dominated profession like accounting, it is easy to lean more toward masculine energy to fit in and get ahead. For years in business, masculine energy has typically been revered as being more powerful and effective, and the number-crunching, logical work that we do as accountants also lends itself towards masculine energy.
But it’s also important to understand that our feminine or yin energy includes a more collaborative, empathetic, creative, and receptive nature. If you think about it, these qualities lend themselves to much better leadership at work or home.
In a Forbes article titled “Is Feminine Energy The New Edge In Business?”, the article pointed out, “Of course, there is still work to be done, glass ceilings to shatter, pay inequality to eliminate, and a disproportionate ratio of men to women in upper management roles to rectify. But as we all continue to effectively lead, it’s clear that the presence of feminine energy isn’t just good for women — it’s good for business.
Just as we must support women in embracing an energy in business that has been previously associated with weakness, we must also support men in tapping into their feminine energy and recognizing the value those traits can bring to the table. Perhaps by shifting the way we look at leadership and breaking the stigmas associated with feminine energy, we can create an environment that promotes greater retention, success, and loyalty by being more effective leaders.”
The point is that, instead of trying to be “one of the boys,” perhaps it’s time we saw the benefit of tapping into more feminine energy as a female accountant. The question is, how can we embrace both our masculine and feminine energies while also bringing more feminine energy to the work we do and the people we come in contact with?
This week I’m going to discuss the difference between masculine and feminine energy and how to balance the two as a female accountant.
The difference between masculine and feminine energy
In a TED Talk by Michelle Miller titled “We Need To Restore Femininity,” she explains that femininity is “experience orientation” and is different from masculinity which is “results orientation.” In other words, feminine energy values the process, and masculine energy values the result.
All the words we associate with femininity – sensitivity, compassion, beauty, creativity – matter if we are invested in the experience of a situation. On the other hand, all the words we associate with masculinity – focus, competition, logic – matter if our priority is on the results of a situation.
To show the difference, take, for example, drinking coffee – if you drink your coffee for the flavor, taste, and the ritual, that’s for the experience of the coffee, and that’s a more feminine way of drinking coffee. If you drink your coffee for the caffeine, that’s for the results of the coffee, which is a masculine way of drinking coffee.
She also offers the example of wearing a dress – if you wear a particular dress because of the feel of the fabric and the way you look and feel when you wear it, that’s a more feminine way to wear a dress. However, if you wear the same exact dress for the effect it produces on someone else, that’s for the result, which is masculine.
The truth is that neither femininity nor masculinity has to do with gender. Though traditionally, women are expected to behave in a feminine manner and men in a masculine manner, we continually vacillate between either energy depending on many factors.
As I shared before, for female accountants working in a primarily male-dominated profession like accounting, we can often lean towards masculine energy by virtue of the fact that as accountants, we are paid to produce financial results. Our work is extremely results-oriented, making it easy to slip into more masculine energy without realizing it.
If you think about it, business, in general, is masculine, focusing on measuring a business’ success based on KPIs, revenue, profit, forecasts, etc. Our accounting profession is heavily geared towards the masculine energy of results.
Of course, this is not a bad thing. If you consider the innovation, business success, and achievements that have come from the masculine results-oriented energy, we wouldn’t have many of the technological advancements that we use today.
The fact that I’m a CPA, Professional Certified Coach for Accountants, podcast host, and author is all because of the masculine energy of setting and achieving goals. There’s a lot to be said for tapping into masculine energy.
The issue, though, is that, as female accountants, we can focus so heavily on external masculine energy with the work we do that we can get internally off balance. We can become so focused on achieving results that we lose the power of our femininity.
Thankfully there is a better way.
How to balance masculine and feminine energy as a female accountant
As an accountant and an intelligent, high-achieving woman, it might be time to bring in more feminine, experiential energy. It’s perfectly fine to be results-oriented, but you might not realize how much you are missing when you aren’t tapping into feminine energy more throughout your day.
The truth is that the term “balance” can be deceiving. It’s not about having things be equal or 50/50; it’s more about finding a comfortable percentage of two things without them needing to be equal.
Just as the term “work-life balance” has become part of our mainstream conversations, it isn’t about equally spending time at work and time at home. In this regard, balance is a feeling, not an equation.
The truth is that when you have too much masculine energy, especially in the work you do as an accountant, you can end up with too much stress and anxiety. It can often feel like you’re always chasing the next deadline, having to be productive, and moving from one goal or desired result to the next.
When you are overworked and overscheduled, you’re not leaving the white space needed to be a human being, as opposed to a human doing. Therefore, if you have trouble relaxing, detaching from work, or having fun, you’re spending too much time in masculine energy.
On the other hand, cultivating too much feminine energy can result in being disorganized, not taking responsibility for the results in your life, and acting more from emotions than from logic. Balancing masculine and feminine energy is about being aware of which energy is most predominant and questioning whether it’s helpful or not.
Here’s something you may not have considered – I believe that as accountant moms, the fact that you have both masculine and feminine energies actually makes it easier to have your own business. You already have a strong foundation.
But to balance masculine and feminine energy as a female accountant, you must pay attention and bring in more of what you lack. For most, that means bringing in more feminine energy by focusing on the experience, not just the result.
For example, if you are cooking dinner, don’t just focus on the result of getting dinner on the table, but also pay attention to how it feels to make something to nourish your family, how dinner is often the time when everyone gets to share how their day was, and how making certain dishes brings back memories of your childhood. Something as mundane as cooking dinner can become an experiment in balancing masculine and feminine energy.
If you are at work, find ways to be more authentic instead of being like everyone else, be curious about the people you speak to, find ways to be creative in your workspace, and look at things from a big-picture perspective. Since masculine energy is notorious for being super focused, detail-oriented, and somewhat controlling and perfectionistic, if you want to get more done in less time, bringing a less perfectionistic, masculine energy will be beneficial.
You might also want to spend some time thinking about the various areas of your life that you’re not enjoying and consider whether you are weighted too much in one energy. For example, if you don’t enjoy exercise, perhaps it’s time to focus less on a particular goal, like the number of steps you walk in a day, and more on the experience of taking a walk with a friend or your dog.
If procrastination is an issue for you, instead of focusing on what you have to get done, begin focusing on how you want to feel in order to get things done. This powerful shift from masculine energy to feminine energy is something I teach my female accountant coaching clients, and it’s one of the key reasons I get more done in less time than anyone I know.
There’s nothing wrong with focusing on the masculine energy of productivity, but what can make you more productive without burning out in the process is to first, intentionally choose how you want to feel. The reason this is the key is that your feelings fuel your actions; therefore, when you choose the best feeling, you take better actions and ultimately get better results.
So hopefully you now how a better understanding of the difference between masculine and feminine energy as well as how to balance them as a female accountant. If there are certain aspects of your work or your personal life that you’re not enjoying, begin to take a look at which energy you’re bringing to that area or try to balance out the masculine and feminine energies throughout the areas of your life.
For me, I know I have a lot of masculine energy at work, which can then spill into my time at home, so I try to tap into more of my feminine energy when I’m home. Something as simple as having date night once a week with my husband and trying (not always successfully) to give up control over the decision about where we go to eat or spending extra time getting ready so that I feel pretty can help me tap into more feminine energy.
However you choose to, try looking for ways that you might be out of balance and begin to implement at least one way in which you can bring that opposite energy.
Summary
- While feminine energy is more common in women, and masculine energy is more dominant for many men, in reality, we are all a combination of both energies
- Most of us default to a preference, and sometimes that default goes against gendered assumptions.
- For years in business, masculine energy has typically been revered as being more powerful and effective, and the number-crunching, logical work that we do as accountants also lends itself towards masculine energy.