Before I get started, let me ask you a few questions:
Have you ever hesitated to discuss your parenting needs with your employer, fearing it might impact their perception of your commitment?
Do you struggle with finding a balance between meeting work deadlines and attending to your kids’ needs?
Are you looking for ways to create a more supportive and understanding work environment as a working mom?
Do you wish you had more flexible work arrangements to better manage your dual roles?
If you can relate to any of these questions, you’re not alone. Being a working mom is like juggling two very demanding jobs at once, each with its own set of challenges and responsibilities.
It’s a balancing act that requires not only excellent time management but also effective communication, especially with your employer. This communication is crucial because it helps set the stage for understanding, support, and flexibility in the workplace, which can make a world of difference in how you manage your dual roles.
The truth is that you’re not just clocking in and out at your job; you’re managing school runs, doctor appointments, and countless other responsibilities alongside your professional duties. It’s a constant hustle, and sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day.
This dual responsibility can sometimes be overwhelming, and that’s where effective communication with your employer comes into play.
Imagine having a supportive work environment where your employer understands the demands of your home life and is willing to offer the flexibility you need. Sounds ideal, right?
The truth is that achieving this requires open and honest communication. It’s about creating a dialogue where both you and your employer can discuss expectations, challenges, and possible solutions.
One of the biggest challenges we face as working moms is the fear of being perceived as less committed or less capable because of our parenting responsibilities. This fear can often lead to under-communication, where we might hesitate to speak up about our needs or difficulties.
But here’s the thing: not communicating these needs doesn’t make them go away. Instead, it can lead to increased stress, burnout, and even resentment. On the other hand, clear and proactive communication can pave the way for a more supportive and understanding work environment.
I’ve been a CPA for almost as long as I’ve been a mom, so I know how important it is to have my employer on board with what I need to do my best, both at work and at home. That’s why I wanted to do this episode; to discuss why problems can arise, how they impact your work-life balance, and most importantly, what you can do to address them effectively.
This week, I’m going to discuss the typical problems you might experience and suggestions for effective communication with your employer.
Typical problems you might experience
Let’s be honest: not every employer fully grasps what it means to be a working mom. Imagine your boss assuming that after a long day at the office, you go home to kick back and relax.
In reality, your evening might involve helping with homework, preparing dinner, managing bedtime routines, and dealing with a thousand little crises.
Some employers might not recognize these demands and could mistakenly think that work ends when you leave the office. This lack of understanding can lead to misconceptions.
For example, if you need to leave early for a school event or work from home when your child is sick, an employer who doesn’t understand these demands might see it as a lack of commitment. They might even harbor biases, thinking that working moms are less focused or less reliable.
Another common worry among working moms is the fear of being seen as less dedicated to their jobs. This fear can be paralyzing, especially when you’ve worked so hard to become an accountant.
You might think, “If I ask for flexible hours, will they think I’m not serious about my career?” This concern often leads to avoiding important conversations about your needs, which can be counterproductive.
For example, suppose you need to adjust your schedule to attend a parent-teacher meeting. Instead of discussing this with your employer, you might try to manage it quietly, adding unnecessary stress.
This fear of appearing less committed can also lead to overcompensating, where you take on extra work or avoid taking necessary breaks to prove your dedication. This kind of behavior can result in burnout and increased stress, which ultimately affects your productivity and well-being.
The third common problem is time management conflicts. Unfortunately, balancing work responsibilities and parenting duties often leads to scheduling conflicts.
For example, let’s say you have an important work meeting scheduled at the same time as your child’s school play. Or you need to submit a project, but your child is home sick and needs your attention.
These conflicts can be incredibly stressful. Not only are you trying to meet your professional obligations, but you’re also dealing with the guilt of missing out on important moments in your child’s life.
This constant juggling act can make you feel like you’re always running behind, which can affect your work performance and lead to strained communication with your employer. If you’re frequently asking for last-minute time off or extensions, it might create the impression that you’re not managing your time effectively, even though you’re doing your best to balance both worlds.
I swear when my children were younger, they only got sick during tax season. And that was back in the day when there were no remote options.
The fourth issue is limited flexibility. Many workplaces still operate on rigid schedules that don’t accommodate the dynamic needs of working moms.
You might find it challenging to manage an 8-to-5 job while also handling drop-offs, pick-ups, and unexpected family emergencies.
For example, if your employer insists on strict office hours with no room for flexibility, it can be tough to keep up with both work and family demands. This lack of flexibility can strain your relationship with your employer.
You might feel like you’re constantly fighting an uphill battle to prove your worth, which can be exhausting and demoralizing.
The truth is that the rigidity of traditional work hours often means that you have to make tough choices between being there for your children and meeting your work commitments. This can create a sense of frustration and resentment, making it harder to communicate openly and effectively with your employer about your needs.
Although these are a few of the common problems I’ve seen and experienced, there are ways to address these issues, which I’m going to cover next.
Suggestions for effective communication with your employer
First, let me just say that you are an incredible asset to your employer. You don’t have to feel like you’re not allowed to ask for what you need, want, and deserve. They are lucky to have you, especially in this day and age when so many employers are struggling to hire competent accountants.
The first suggestion is open and honest communication. I believe it’s the foundation for any solid relationship, and since you probably spend about a third of your life in the office, you should have the best relationship you can with your empower.
That’s why the foundation of resolving many workplace issues is open and honest communication. As a working mom, it’s essential to have candid conversations with your employer about your needs and challenges.
For example, if you need flexibility due to childcare arrangements, discuss this openly with your manager or boss.
Tip: Choose a good time for this conversation, such as during a one-on-one meeting or a less busy period. Start by framing the discussion positively.
For example, you could say, “I’ve been thinking about how I can be even more productive and efficient at work, and I’d like to discuss some ideas that could help me balance my responsibilities better.” This approach shows that you’re proactive and focused on maintaining your performance.
The next suggestion is to propose flexible work arrangements. The truth is that flexible work arrangements can be a game-changer for working moms.
These could include options like remote work, flexible hours, or compressed workweeks. For example, if mornings are hectic due to school drop-offs, propose starting your workday later and finishing later.
Tip: When presenting these proposals to your employer, highlight the mutual benefits. Always consider what’s in for them by explaining how flexible hours can lead to increased productivity and job satisfaction.
For example, “If I can shift my work hours to start at 10 AM, I’ll be able to focus better and deliver higher-quality work because I’ll have handled my morning responsibilities.” This way, you’re showing that your request is not just for your benefit but also for the company’s.
The next suggestion is to set clear boundaries and priorities. Setting clear boundaries between work and home life is crucial.
This means defining specific work hours and sticking to them as much as possible. For example, if you decide that your workday ends at 6 PM, try to avoid checking emails or taking work calls after that time.
Strategy: Prioritize your tasks both at work and at home. Communicate these priorities to your employer.
For example, “I have an important deadline to meet by the end of the week, so I’ll be focusing on this project and may need to delegate some other tasks.” By being clear about your priorities, you can manage expectations and reduce stress.
The next suggestion is to seek support and resources. Don’t hesitate to seek support from HR, employee resource groups, or external resources for working moms. Many organizations have programs or groups specifically designed to support working parents.
Tip: Connect with other working moms in your company and share strategies that have worked for them. For example, you might learn about a colleague who negotiated a work-from-home day each week to manage childcare better. Sharing these successful communication strategies can provide you with new ideas and confidence to approach your employer.
And my last suggestion is regular check-ins and feedback. Regular check-ins with your employer can help keep communication lines open and address any issues before they become major problems. Use these meetings to discuss your workload, expectations, and any adjustments needed.
Tip: Be proactive in giving and receiving feedback. For example, after a project, you could say, “I’d love to hear your thoughts on how I handled the recent project and discuss any areas where I can improve.” This shows that you’re committed to your role and open to growth, which can foster a positive and supportive relationship with your employer.
I hope that you now have some suggestions and strategies that you could implement for effective communication with your employer, whether it’s open and honest communication, proposing flexible work arrangements, setting clear boundaries, seeking support, or maintaining regular check-ins.
By implementing these strategies, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling work-life experience. Remember, it’s all about finding what works best for you and communicating that effectively with your employer.
I meant it when I said your employer is lucky to have you. You just have to be willing to have more effective communication about what you need to be able to do what you do.
Questions to consider:
Have I been avoiding conversations with my employer about my needs as a working mom because of fear or misconceptions? Reflect on whether your hesitations are holding you back from achieving a more supportive and understanding work environment.
What flexible work arrangements could benefit both my work performance and family life, and how can I present these to my employer in a way that highlights mutual benefits? Consider specific examples like remote work or flexible hours and think about how you can frame these requests to show their advantages for both you and your employer.
How can I better prioritize my tasks and set clear boundaries between work and home life to reduce stress and improve my work-life balance? Identify areas where you can set firmer boundaries and prioritize your responsibilities to create a more manageable and less stressful daily routine.