Let’s talk about something we all think about as working moms—how our work life affects our kids. It’s one of those topics that can stir up a mix of emotions: guilt, worry, and maybe even a little pride. If you’ve ever wondered how to make things easier for your kids when you’re busy, you’re in good company.
The truth is, being a working mom is a balancing act that can feel impossible some days. You want to do your best at work and at home, but sometimes it feels like there just isn’t enough of you to go around. Does that sound familiar?
This is especially true when we have more on our plates like tax season for those of us in public accounting. You might already be looking at your schedule, trying to figure out how to fit it all in without shortchanging your kids. Maybe you’ve even caught yourself asking, “Am I doing enough for them?”
But here’s the thing—kids are resilient, and they notice way more than we give them credit for. They see how hard you’re working, and they feel your love even in those moments when you think you’re falling short. Still, it’s natural to worry about how your busy season will impact them emotionally.
Have you ever stopped to think about what your kids might actually be learning from watching you juggle work and family? What if this was an opportunity to teach them something valuable—not just about your job, but about life?
Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s tough when they’re upset or asking for more of your time, and you feel like you can’t give it. But maybe there’s a way to bridge that gap, to make sure they feel supported even when your plate is full.
What if you could shift the way you approach being a working mom? What if it wasn’t about guilt or sacrifice but about finding meaningful ways to connect, even in small moments?
I know how easy it is to get caught up in the day-to-day stress of balancing everything. But what if you didn’t have to choose between being a great accountant and a great mom? What if there were simple ways to show your kids they matter without putting even more pressure on yourself?
Today’s episode is going to explore all this because while being a working mom isn’t always easy, it can also be an opportunity to grow closer to your kids in ways you might not expect. So, how do we make it happen? Let’s find out.
This week, I’m going to discuss when work feels like it’s getting in the way and finding ways to help your kids deal with having a working mom.
When work feels like it’s getting in the way
Let’s be real—being a working mom is no small feat, especially when it feels like you’re being pulled in a million different directions. When work demands ramp up—whether it’s a client deadline, month-end close, or just a packed schedule—it’s easy to feel like there’s not enough of you to go around.
The long hours and constant mental load make it harder to be present at home. And while you’re trying to keep everything on track, it’s hard not to wonder if your kids will remember this time when mom was too busy.
The thing is, kids are incredibly perceptive. I remember when my kids were little, and I’d catch the look on their faces when I had to say, “Not now, I’m working.” It wasn’t just disappointment; sometimes, it was confusion, like they couldn’t quite understand why something else was more important in that moment.
Our kids pick up on the smallest cues—when your attention is divided, when you’re too tired to engage, and when you’re carrying the weight of a long workday. That awareness can sometimes leave them feeling confused or even a little resentful, even though they don’t know how to express it.
For you, this can stir up a lot of guilt. Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking, “Did I spend enough time with them today? Should I have stayed up later to play that game or read that extra story?”
You might even second-guess every decision—working late, skipping family dinner, or just needing a moment to yourself. That guilt can be heavy, and it doesn’t help that it often leads to stress and burnout, which only makes it harder to be present when you do have time with your kids.
I know there were nights when dinner was over, and I would feel like I had nothing left to give. The to-do list in my head would keep running, even though my body was too tired to keep up. It’s like a vicious cycle—one that so many of us fall into, especially during these high-pressure months.
Miscommunication can also make things even trickier. How often do we assume our kids “just get it,” when in reality, they’re piecing together their own version of why mom is so busy?
Without clear explanations, they might start to feel unimportant or uncertain about their place in your world. It’s not that they don’t want to understand—they just need a little help seeing the bigger picture.
For us accountant moms, these challenges are magnified by the intensity of our work or pressure-filled times of the year. It’s not just the long hours; it’s the constant mental load of juggling client needs, emails, and everything else that keeps piling up.
The pressure doesn’t just take a toll on your energy—it seeps into your family life, making it feel like time with them is slipping through the cracks.
Here’s the thing though: these feelings, these challenges—they’re normal. You’re not alone in this, and the good news is there are ways to make it work.
Thankfully, it’s possible to bridge the gap between your work life and your family life, ensuring everyone feels connected—even when things get hectic. Let’s dive into how to make that happen.
Finding ways to help your kids deal with having a working mom
As working moms, one of the best things we can do for our kids is keep the lines of communication open.
In fact, research from the Journal of Family Psychology shows that children cope better with parental work-related stress when they understand the “why” behind it. This is especially important during busy times when work demands more of your attention, leaving less time for family moments.
When my kids were younger, I learned that even a quick explanation of why I was busy helped so much. Kids don’t need the full rundown of your workday, but they do need to know that what you’re doing is important—and that they’re just as important, even when you’re swamped.
It’s not about having a perfect explanation; it’s about showing them they matter. A simple conversation, like saying, “Mom’s working extra right now because tax season is busy, but it won’t always be like this,” can make a world of difference.
One study from Harvard found that children who feel included in their parents’ work-life narrative tend to feel more secure and less stressed. Letting them know what to expect—and reassuring them that they’re still a priority—goes a long way in easing their worries. It’s about helping them feel included, even when they can’t have all your attention.
Setting expectations and creating routines is another game-changer. Kids thrive on predictability, and something as simple as a family calendar can help them see when the busy period—like month-end reporting or quarterly audits—will calm down. It gives them a sense of when they can expect more time with you, which helps ease their worries.
For example, you could use a whiteboard or digital calendar to mark off the days until tax season ends, so they know the busy period has an end in sight.
Planning special time together, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day, can be so meaningful. For example, you might schedule a “pajama breakfast” on Saturday mornings or a nightly ten-minute “snuggle and chat” time before bed. It’s not about how much time you spend but the quality of that time.
Sometimes, it’s the small, unexpected gestures that stick with them. A study published in Child Development highlights the power of small acts of affection in strengthening parent-child bonds.
For example, a quick note in their lunchbox with something like, “You’ve got this! Love, Mom,” or a silly text during your coffee break can remind them you’re thinking of them.
When my kids were younger, they loved when I’d share a funny or interesting story about my day—it made them feel like they were part of my world, even when I couldn’t be home as much.
Those moments, no matter how small, can make a big difference in how connected they feel.
The truth is empowering your kids can also make a huge difference. Research by Dr. Carol Dweck, known for her work on growth mindset, shows that kids develop resilience and confidence when given opportunities to take on age-appropriate responsibilities.
For example, younger kids might enjoy helping set the table for dinner, while older ones might benefit from managing a simple chore chart. Encouraging them to share their feelings about your busy season—without jumping in to solve everything—can also help create emotional growth and strengthen your bond.
It can be as simple as saying, “I’d love to hear how you’re feeling about things right now.” But just make sure that you don’t feel guilty afterward. Guilt is one of the most unhelpful emotions for working moms.
My last suggestion is don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Studies from the American Psychological Association suggest that parental self-compassion improves both mental health and parenting outcomes.
The truth is, being a working mom is a powerful example for your kids. They’re watching you manage responsibilities, overcome challenges, and show up for them even when it’s hard, so just focus on what you can do.
As I wrap this up, just remember you don’t have to do it all perfectly. Your kids don’t need you to be superhuman—they just need to know they’re loved and that you’re trying. With a little intentionality, you can navigate being a working mom together and come out stronger on the other side.
I promise that every effort you make, big or small, shows your kids just how much they mean to you.
Questions to consider
Question: “Have I explained to my kids why I’m busier right now?”
Kids are often left to fill in the blanks when they don’t understand what’s happening, and their assumptions can lead to confusion or hurt feelings. Take a moment to think about whether you’ve had a simple, age-appropriate conversation with them about your current workload. It doesn’t need to be a big, formal talk—a quick explanation like, “Mom’s work is a little extra right now, but it’s not forever,” can go a long way in helping them feel included and reassured.
Question: “What small, meaningful moments can I create for connection this week?”
When life feels chaotic, it’s easy to think you need hours of quality time to make a difference, but often it’s the little things that mean the most. Maybe it’s a five-minute snuggle before bed, a funny note in their lunchbox, or sharing one story from your day during dinner. Take a minute to brainstorm a couple of small ways to connect that feel doable for you this week. These moments remind your kids that you’re thinking about them, even when you’re busy.
Question: “Am I being kind to myself about how I’m managing work and family?”
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re not doing enough—for your kids, your job, or yourself. But pause and ask: Am I giving myself credit for what I am doing? Your kids don’t need you to be perfect; they just need to feel loved and valued. Reflect on one thing you’re doing well, whether it’s showing up at bedtime, planning a special breakfast, or simply making sure they know you care. Remember, self-compassion makes you a better mom and a better person overall.