As a working mom in the middle of the holiday season, it’s easy to feel like you’re juggling a million things at once—work deadlines (accounting doesn’t stop during the holidays), family obligations, holiday preparations, and somehow trying to squeeze in a little time for yourself.
It can often feel like no matter how much you do, there’s always something left on your to-do list, and with that comes the sneaky feeling that you should be doing more. Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing: we’re so busy focusing on what’s next—what needs to get done, where we need to be, who we need to help—that we almost never stop to appreciate how much we’ve already handled. And during the holidays, when everyone’s expectations are sky-high, it’s easy to feel like nothing we do is ever enough.
But let me tell you something—you’re doing way more than you give yourself credit for. Those little wins, like getting the kids out the door, meeting a deadline, or just surviving a chaotic day? Those matter.
You don’t need to wait for some big moment or someone else to tell you you’re doing a great job. Feeling proud is all about how you think about what you’re already doing, not some perfect future version of yourself.
Just think about all the little things you’re so proud of your kids for – from going to the potty to their first macaroni necklace. Now think about all the herculean things you do day in and day out and how little you give yourself credit or acknowledgment.
Imagine how different the holidays—or really, any day—would feel if you gave yourself permission to recognize your own hard work. Instead of beating yourself up over what didn’t get done, what if you could just pause and feel proud of everything you’ve managed, even in the middle of the chaos?
That’s what I want to talk about today—why feeling proud of yourself is so important, especially during busy times like the holidays. And here’s the surprising part: it’s not about what you’ve done; it’s about how you think about what you’ve done.
This week, I’m going to discuss why we struggle to feel proud of ourselves and how to start feeling proud right now.
The struggle to feel proud of ourselves
Let’s be real—feeling proud of ourselves doesn’t always come naturally. As working moms, we’re often our toughest critics. No matter how much we get done, there’s always that little voice in the back of our heads telling us it wasn’t enough.
Maybe we didn’t finish a project as perfectly as we wanted, or we didn’t spend enough time with the kids, or we forgot that one little thing on our list. It’s like no matter how hard we try, we always find something to beat ourselves up about.
And why is that? Why is it so hard to stop and say, “Hey, I did a pretty good job today”? Part of it is that we’re used to looking outside ourselves for approval.
From a young age, we’ve been taught to wait for someone else to tell us we’ve done well—whether it’s a teacher, a boss, or even our family. We’re so focused on meeting expectations, making everyone else happy, and ticking all the boxes, that we don’t stop to consider how we feel about what we’ve accomplished.
Another part of the struggle is the idea that being proud of yourself might come off as selfish or boastful. You might think, “I can’t just pat myself on the back—what will people think?”
But here’s the thing: feeling proud of yourself doesn’t mean you’re bragging or acting like you’re better than anyone else. It’s about acknowledging your own efforts and giving yourself credit where it’s due, even if no one else is paying attention.
And let’s not forget the idea of “all or nothing.” You know how it goes—you either feel like a total rockstar, or like you’ve completely failed. There doesn’t seem to be much middle ground.
It’s so easy to fall into that trap, where unless we’re crushing every single thing on our list, we feel like we didn’t do enough. But life is messy, especially as a working mom, and there’s no such thing as perfect.
So many of us walk around feeling like we haven’t earned the right to feel proud until we’ve done everything perfectly—and that’s a game we’ll never win. We’re setting ourselves up for disappointment when we base our pride on impossible standards.
And when we do this during the holiday season, when everything is amped up and everyone seems to be expecting more from us, the pressure can feel unbearable.
But what if we stopped waiting for perfection? What if we could feel proud of ourselves right now, even if we didn’t check off every single thing on our to-do list?
It’s not about what you did or didn’t do. It’s about learning to be kinder to yourself, recognizing your efforts, and giving yourself permission to feel good about what you’ve managed, even when things aren’t perfect. Because let’s face it—perfection isn’t real, but your hard work absolutely is.
So, if feeling proud of ourselves doesn’t come from perfection or outside approval, how exactly do we start generating that pride from within? Let’s dive into how you can shift your mindset and begin to truly appreciate your own efforts, no matter how big or small.
How to start feeling proud right now
Here’s the good news: feeling proud of yourself isn’t something you have to wait for. You don’t need to reach a certain goal, impress anyone, or even have a perfect day to start feeling that sense of pride. The truth is, pride is something you can create for yourself right now, just by shifting how you think about what you’re already doing.
Think about how we feel proud of our kids. We celebrate everything, from the big moments like taking their first steps to the tiny victories like using the potty for the first time. We cheer them on when they manage to tie their shoes, make it through a school day, or finish their homework—even if it’s a little messy.
As moms, we’re constantly finding reasons to be proud of them, whether they succeeded or simply made the effort. It’s never about them being perfect; it’s about the growth, the trying, and the progress we see in them, even when the results aren’t flawless.
So why is it so much harder to apply that same kindness to ourselves? Why is it that when it comes to us, we set the bar impossibly high?
We tell ourselves we’ll feel proud when we do everything on our list, when the house is spotless, when the work project is flawless, or when the kids are happy and entertained—all at the same time. The truth is, that level of perfection isn’t realistic, and waiting to feel proud until we’ve achieved it means we miss out on celebrating all the little victories along the way.
What if you started treating yourself with that same gentle pride you give your kids? Just like how we’re proud of them for trying, learning, and showing up, we can start being proud of ourselves for those same things.
Maybe you didn’t get every single thing done today, but you tackled a tough project at work or kept your patience when your toddler was having a meltdown. Maybe you woke up extra early to have some quiet time before the day’s chaos began, or you decided to finally prioritize a task that’s been hanging over your head.
These moments matter, and they’re worth feeling proud of—even if they don’t feel like huge achievements.
Here are some simple ways to start practicing self-pride:
Acknowledge the small stuff: Did you finally send that email you’ve been putting off? Manage to fold the laundry, even if it didn’t make it into the drawers right away? Or maybe you actually found 10 minutes to sit down and drink your coffee while it was still hot. These things might not seem like much, but they’re wins. Recognize them. Just like when your child manages to clean up their toys, it doesn’t have to be perfect to be worth celebrating.
Be proud of the effort: Even if the outcome wasn’t exactly what you hoped for, showing up and trying is what really counts. Maybe you didn’t get everything done on your to-do list today, but you gave it your all. Or maybe you took time to help your child with their school project, even though it didn’t turn out Pinterest-perfect. Effort is worth celebrating! We’re so quick to celebrate our kids for trying—even when they stumble or don’t get it right the first time—but we rarely give ourselves the same credit. Start noticing your own effort, no matter the result, and take pride in the fact that you showed up.
Celebrate progress, not perfection: Whether it’s keeping your cool during a stressful moment, carving out five minutes for yourself, or simply getting everyone out the door in the morning with only a few hiccups, these little moments add up. Instead of focusing on what didn’t go perfectly or what could have been better, take a minute to see how far you’ve come. Progress can look like lots of different things—maybe it’s finally setting a boundary at work, or maybe it’s just making it through the day without losing your temper. It doesn’t have to be monumental to be meaningful.
Look for pride in unexpected places: Sometimes we forget that pride doesn’t have to come from the “big” things. Did you say something kind to yourself today when things didn’t go as planned? Did you manage to get a bit of exercise, or did you listen to your body and let yourself rest when you needed it? Maybe you decided to have a little fun and let go of some of the seriousness that often comes with being a mom. These are all reasons to be proud, even if they’re small or don’t fit the usual mold of what we think is “worthy” of pride. The more you look for these moments, the easier it will be to find them.
Just like we encourage our kids, we can start encouraging ourselves. That pride you feel when your child accomplishes something new, even something small? You deserve that same feeling when you accomplish something, even if it’s just making it through another busy day.
When you start looking for those moments, however small they may seem, and allowing yourself to feel proud, you’re giving yourself a gift. And as moms, we deserve to be proud of ourselves, too—not just for the big things, but for the way we show up every single day, even when things don’t go as planned.
So, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: What can I be proud of today? You might be surprised at how much there is to celebrate.
Questions to consider:
Question: “What small wins have I already accomplished today?” This question encourages you to shift your focus from what’s left on your to-do list to what you’ve already managed to get done. Whether it’s making breakfast, getting the kids to school, or completing a task at work, recognizing these small wins helps build the habit of appreciating your efforts throughout the day.
Question: “How would I respond if a friend or my child had done the same thing?” Sometimes it’s easier to be kind and encouraging to others than it is to ourselves. By imagining how you’d celebrate someone else’s effort, you can better see the value in your own actions. This helps you practice self-compassion and makes it easier to feel proud of yourself, even for small tasks.
Question: “What would make me feel proud right now, even if it’s not perfect?” This question helps you break free from perfectionism by shifting your focus to what truly matters. It encourages you to recognize that feeling proud doesn’t require everything to be flawless—it’s about acknowledging the effort and intention behind what you’re doing, no matter the outcome.