Let me start by asking you a question – when you read the title of this episode, “Is It Time To Quit?” what immediately came to mind? Was it quitting your job or was it something else that came to mind?
The interesting thing is that when I came up with the idea for this podcast, I had initially thought only about quitting a job. But then I quickly realized that there are so many things that we may need to consider quitting and whether it’s time to quit.
The truth is that, as working moms, we are often faced with critical decisions that shape our lives and the lives of our families. There can be pivotal moments when we find ourselves at a crossroads, pondering decisions that could redefine our paths, whether it’s a career shift, a relationship change, or any other major life choice.
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, juggling professional responsibilities, family commitments, and personal aspirations, we can often find ourselves caught between competing priorities. Today, I want to create a space where we can openly discuss the tough decisions that working mothers face and offer insights, perspectives, and a supportive community to help navigate these uncertain waters.
First, I want to acknowledge the courage it takes for us to step back and reassess our current situations. Deciding to embark on a new journey – whether it involves leaving a job, ending a marriage or a relationship, or making any significant change – is a monumental undertaking.
You do not need to feel bad if you are grappling with the idea of quitting something. It’s not always easy to make a change, especially when something has been a certain way for a while.
When my son was 2, I was faced with a big decision. I left Deloitte after that Tax Partner told me he felt I was taking a job away from a man, and I was offered a managerial position at Ernst & Young.
I got a big pay increase, my own office and secretary, and a nice parking spot. In my mind, I had achieved the brass ring.
And then, my beloved grandmother died, and my life was turned upside down. I started questioning whether I wanted to stop working and stay home with the kids, whether missing things my daughter was involved in with her kindergarten class was worth it, and whether taking a break from my career path was in my best interest.
I know firsthand how challenging it can be to have a million “what if” scenarios swirling around in your head, but hopefully, after listening to this episode, you might have some clarity. Honestly, I wish I knew then what I know now, so let me help you decide whether it’s time to quit, whatever you’re considering quitting.
This week I’m going to discuss redefining what it means to quit, making a decision regarding your career, making a decision regarding a relationship, and how to make empowering choices.
Redefining what it means to quit
As working moms, we’ve got a lot on our plates, and sometimes we’re faced with decisions that make us wonder: what does quitting really mean? I think it important to define quitting in our own terms so that it can lead us to some seriously empowering choices.
So, let’s get real – quitting isn’t always a “throw-in-the-towel” kind of deal. Some people see it as a big red “FAIL” sign, but it doesn’t have to be. Think about it – can quitting actually be a bold move?
As working moms, we’re often faced with situations where quitting isn’t about waving the white flag; it’s about doing the brave thing. It’s about knowing when to quit for all the right reasons and realizing it’s not just a black-and-white thing.
So instead of thinking quitting equals defeat, let’s flip the script. Picture it as a strategic move – a choice to shift our focus to something that aligns more with our values, priorities, and dreams.
Quitting Isn’t just a surrender; it’s a conscious pivot. It’s recognizing when something’s not adding up in our life’s equation and choosing to rewrite the formula.
But here’s the thing – quitting can be like a magician’s trick that frees up some space. If something – a job, a task, a role, a relationship – is draining our energy more than giving it a boost, quitting might be our best move.
When I ended my first marriage almost 20 years ago, I had a lot of mental drama about the decision. I also had a lot of other people’s differing opinions weighing on me.
But after much soul-searching and therapy sessions, I realized I wasn’t quitting my marriage; I was creating a new life for me and my children. I was giving us a second chance to follow a new and often scary path.
I now see that as one of the toughest and most rewarding decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I also know now that the kids and I are living our best lives because I decided to quit something that wasn’t healthy for any of us.
So it might be time for you to rewrite your success rulebook! The truth is that, as working moms, our stories don’t fit neatly in a one-size-fits-all box. Neither do our quitting decisions.
Let’s paint a picture where success isn’t about sticking to a rigid path. When we redefine quitting, we’re unshackling ourselves from society’s norms, stepping into a world where we call the shots and craft a life that’s uniquely ours.
Making a decision regarding your career
Now, let’s dive into the big question of our careers. Do we keep cruising on the same path, or do we hit the brakes and make a detour? Let’s break down the career crossroads, the ambitions that drive us, and the tough choices we face.
Let’s face it, our careers are like a maze, full of twists, turns, and opportunities that sometimes feel like dead ends. As working moms, we’ve got dreams, goals, and a burning desire to climb that ladder, whatever that means for each of us.
But there often comes a time when we’re at a fork in the road, and we’ve got to decide: Do we keep marching or switch gears?
We’re told that our ambitions are like our personal North Star, guiding us toward our aspirations. Maybe it’s snagging that corner office, going out on your own, or finally nailing that work-life balance.
But here’s the thing – our ambitions can change lanes without warning. So, when our career compass isn’t pointing where we thought it would, do we double down or hit reset? The million-dollar question: Is quitting the answer?
Picture this – you’re in a job that’s not quite doing a happy dance anymore. Do you give it the old college try, hoping for a turnaround? Or is it time to draft that resignation letter and set sail toward new horizons?
Again, deciding whether to stick around or sail away isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. It’s personal, it’s nuanced, and it’s a tough call.
So, when we think about quitting to chase our career ambitions, how do we weigh the pros and cons? How do we ensure that our decisions don’t just elevate our careers but enrich our lives as a whole?
This is where the heart and head collide. Our dreams are like a symphony, and our reality is the conductor’s baton.
When we’re on the brink of quitting or chasing new ambitions, it’s time for a heart-to-heart. We have to ask ourselves: Are we staying out of fear or comfort, or are we chasing dreams for the thrill and the fulfillment? It’s a gut-check moment that only we can answer.
Whether to quit or not to quit – it’s a twisty, turny road we’re all navigating. Just remember, you’re not alone in this journey.
Making a decision regarding a relationship
Now, let’s dive into relationships and parenthood. As working moms, we’re not just balancing careers; we’re also juggling the intricate dance of family life.
The truth is that relationships are like gardens that need constant tending. From our significant others to close friends, we’re surrounded by connections that shape our world.
But what happens when the balance shifts, and we’re at a juncture where quitting a relationship feels like a real possibility? Is it waving the white flag, or is it a chance for personal growth and a healthier future?
As I shared before, I ended my first marriage because I wanted a healthier future for my children and me. But what I also want to share is that I almost quit my second marriage, just one week shy of our first-year anniversary.
I’m happy to say that we just celebrated our 15-year wedding anniversary, but we both came close to quitting our second marriage. Why didn’t we? For me, it was being willing to let the pros outweigh the cons for a while.
I knew that ending the marriage was an option, but it wasn’t an option I wanted to follow through on, like in my first marriage. With my second husband, we realized there was much more that was worth staying and fighting for.
I’ve also had friendships and other relationships that I decided to quit because I valued myself enough to walk away. Once I worked on improving my self-confidence, walking away became easier.
But there’s also another area of relationships that we need to talk about – parenthood. It’s a beautiful storm that transforms our lives in ways we never imagined. But let’s be real – parenting is also a rollercoaster with epic highs and challenging lows.
When those lows linger and quitting the parenting gig even flickers across our minds, how do we navigate that terrain? Is it okay to feel overwhelmed? Is it okay to want a breather? Is it okay to want a break from that relationship?
The truth is that when we’re grappling with the idea of quitting relationships or feeling stretched as parents, it’s not a failure. It’s about realizing that space for growth and resilience is essential.
Quitting isn’t always about giving up; sometimes, it’s a strategic move to create space for positive change. The truth is that you can love your children and need a break from them.
You can also love your children and not like them at the same time. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to quit sometimes, but just let it be a sign that you might need some self-care and to ask for help.
When my children were younger, I would sometimes go to my parent’s house without the kids just to get a break from being a parent. At those times, I would let my parents parent me instead, allowing me not to be responsible for anyone else for an hour or so.
Sometimes letting my own mother, mother me was the best way for me to hit the reset button. It helped me to lessen the overwhelm I was feeling and to allow myself to be taken care of.
When times get tough, there’s no shame in sometimes wishing you could run away to a desert island, so don’t make yourself feel bad for wanting to quit the parenting gig every once in a while. We’ve all been there, even if it’s for a fleeting moment.
The key is that when the scales tip and we’re unsure whether to continue or call it quits, it’s about finding harmony between our roles as parents and as individuals. Consider that there might be a way to rewrite the script and create a win-win scenario for everyone involved.
Just know that through the ups and downs, we’re learning, growing, and discovering our strengths. So, whether it’s strengthening bonds or redefining roles, it’s important to embrace the journey and create a narrative that speaks to our hearts.
How to make empowering choices
No matter what you’re thinking about quitting, it’s all about the power of choice. Whether we feel like it or not, as working moms, we hold the reins of our lives, and every choice we make can be a step toward empowerment.
So, how do we make choices that align with our true selves and lead us to a life filled with purpose and joy?
Picture this – you’re standing at a crossroads, faced with a decision that could change the course of your life. What do you do?
It’s about tapping into your own internal GPS system because when you tap into your intuition and let your core values guide you, you’re setting yourself up for success. It’s about ditching the noise, tuning in, and trusting that you have the wisdom to make the choices that serve you best.
Quitting that job at Ernst & Young, quitting my first marriage, and deciding not to quit my second were all choices I did not take lightly. They were all looked at from every angle, but in the end, I knew I had made an empowering choice.
When it comes to quitting, it’s also about learning the power of “no.” As working moms, we often wear superwoman capes, trying to be everywhere for everyone. But it’s okay to set boundaries and say “no” when something doesn’t align with your goals or values.
Quitting the habit of overcommitting isn’t quitting on yourself; it’s reclaiming your time and energy to fuel what truly matters.
It’s important to see that life’s challenges aren’t roadblocks; they’re catalysts for growth. When you’re faced with obstacles that make quitting look tempting, flip the script.
See those challenges as opportunities to rise, learn, and become stronger. Quitting isn’t the only way out; it’s about transforming challenges into stepping stones on your path to success.
Surround yourself with those who light your path, not douce your flame. Your inner circle is your tribe, your support system, your cheerleaders so whatever you’re considering quitting, be willing to share it with someone you trust.
They’re the ones who encourage you to keep pushing, keep growing, and keep believing. Choosing who you let into your world is a powerful choice that can influence your journey in incredible ways.
Lastly, empowering choices come with tools – tools that help you build the life you envision. It could be practicing mindfulness, seeking out mentors, or honing your skills.
By crafting your empowerment toolbox, you’re arming yourself with resources that might make quitting the option of last resort. It’s about finding strength in knowledge, wisdom, and community.
From career crossroads to navigating relationships and parenthood, every choice you make is a stitch in the tapestry of your life. So embrace your power, make choices that resonate with your heart, and keep writing your unique chapter.
Summary
There can be pivotal moments when we find ourselves at a crossroads, pondering decisions that could redefine our paths, whether it’s a career shift, a relationship change, or any other major life choice.
Instead of thinking quitting equals defeat, let’s flip the script. Picture it as a strategic move – a choice to shift our focus to something that aligns more with our values, priorities and dreams.