As a working mom, the daily grind can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to get caught up in the stress and chaos, losing sight of the positive aspects of your life.
But what if there was a way to shift your perspective, find joy in the midst of the hustle, and improve your overall well-being? That’s where the concept of radical gratitude comes in.
As I’ve shared recently, I had to have surgery, and they discovered endometrial cancer. To say it was a shock is an understatement because my bloodwork had come back negative for tumor markers.
Well, unbeknownst to me, my oncology gynecologist said that the bloodwork only shows cancer in 50% of women. Here, my husband and I thought I was in the clear and would just have a “normal” hysterectomy, but we were very wrong.
As I was dealing with the shock of it all, I remembered two things. One, when my son, Brendan, was a junior in high school, he developed ulcerative colitis and almost died.
Once they were able to get everything under control and he was about to be discharged from the hospital, I overhead his gastroenterologist telling the medical students he was training that although Brendan would be receiving outpatient treatments, the most important aspect of his healing was going to be being surrounded by positivity.
Here was the Harvard-trained doctor telling the students that positivity would be the key. And then he said something I’ll never forget—he told them, “Brendan is going to be fine because his mother is one of the most positive people I’ve ever met.”
The second thing I remembered while dealing with the shock of my diagnosis was the fact that since my children were little, whenever anything bad happened, I would always ask them to tell me 3 things they were grateful for in the scenario they were dealing with.
For example, when Kelly got into her first fender-bender as a new driver, and I asked her to tell me 3 things she was grateful for she said she was grateful that the accident wasn’t that bad, that no one got hurt, and that she had insurance.
I’m sharing all this because it is the essence of radical gratitude. It’s not just about being thankful for the obvious good things in life but also about recognizing and appreciating the small, often overlooked things.
Radical gratitude goes beyond the surface level of thankfulness and dives deep into a mindset of appreciation, even during tough times.
Radical gratitude is about more than just saying “thank you.” It’s a practice that encourages you to find and focus on the positives, no matter how small, in every situation.
It’s about shifting your perspective from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect; it’s about acknowledging difficulties and still finding something to be grateful for.
This week I’m going to dive deeper into what radical gratitude is and share practical ways you can incorporate this powerful practice into your daily life.
What radical gratitude is
Radical gratitude is a mindset and practice that takes the idea of being thankful to a whole new level. It’s not just about acknowledging the good things in your life, but also about finding appreciation in every situation, even the difficult ones.
Traditional gratitude might involve saying “thank you” for a gift or feeling grateful for a sunny day. Radical gratitude, on the other hand, pushes you to find something positive even in the midst of a stressful work project, a sleepless night with a teething baby, or a disagreement with a loved one.
Think of radical gratitude as a lens through which you view your entire life. It encourages you to look for the silver linings and hidden blessings in every experience.
For instance, if you’re stuck in traffic, instead of only feeling frustrated, you might use that time to listen to your favorite podcast or enjoy a few moments of solitude. If you’re facing a challenging project at work, you might feel grateful for the opportunity to learn new skills and grow professionally.
It’s about making a conscious effort to find value and positive aspects in all circumstances, not just the easy or obviously good ones.
For me, radical gratitude came in the form of realizing that if the cyst on my ovary hadn’t grown so large that it pressed against my bladder and made me go to the doctor to see what was up, they would have never discovered endometrial cancer at early Stage 4. It could have spread much worse without me realizing it.
You might be wondering if there’s any real benefit to practicing radical gratitude, and the answer is a resounding yes. Research has shown that gratitude can have profound effects on our mental and physical health.
According to various studies, people who regularly practice gratitude experience lower levels of stress and depression. They tend to sleep better, have stronger immune systems, and even enjoy more satisfying relationships.
One study conducted by psychologists Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Michael McCullough found that participants who kept a weekly gratitude journal reported higher levels of optimism, felt better about their lives, and even exercised more regularly compared to those who focused on sources of aggravation or neutral life events.
Another study from the University of California, Berkeley, showed that practicing gratitude can change brain activity, making us more attuned to positive experiences and less reactive to negative ones.
These findings suggest that by incorporating gratitude into our daily lives, especially radical gratitude, we can enhance our overall well-being and resilience. It’s like giving our brains a regular workout to stay positive and focused on what truly matters.
So, what’s the difference between regular gratitude and radical gratitude? Let’s break it down with a few examples.
Regular gratitude is appreciating the obvious good things. It’s saying “thank you” when someone does you a favor or feeling grateful for a beautiful day. These moments are important, and they certainly add positivity to our lives.
Radical gratitude, however, goes deeper. It’s about finding something to appreciate in every situation, including the tough ones.
For example, imagine you’ve had a really rough day at work. Instead of dwelling solely on the stress and frustration, radical gratitude encourages you to find something positive in that experience. Maybe you learned something new, discovered a new way to handle stress, or received support from a colleague.
Here’s another example: Let’s say your child is going through a difficult phase, throwing tantrums and testing your patience. Regular gratitude might focus on the sweet moments when they’re calm and loving.
Radical gratitude, though, would have you appreciate the growth opportunities in these challenging times – such as developing your patience, learning new parenting strategies, or the deeper bond you’ll build as you navigate this phase together.
By practicing radical gratitude, you’re training yourself to see life’s challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in perspective can make a huge difference in how you experience daily life, helping you to feel more balanced, resilient, and fulfilled.
How to practice radical gratitude
If this concept is new to you, one of the best ways to cultivate radical gratitude is by incorporating it into your daily routine. Here are some practical ideas to get you started:
Morning Gratitude Journaling: Start your day by writing down three things you’re grateful for. These can be as simple as a good night’s sleep, a hot cup of coffee, or a kind word from a colleague. I’ve shared this before on the podcast, but my husband and I text each other 3 things we were grateful for from the previous day. I also have a best friend that I do the same thing with.
Gratitude Prompts: Use prompts to guide your thoughts. Questions like “What made you smile today?” or “Who are you thankful for and why?” can help you focus on the positive aspects of your day.
Family Gratitude Circles: Make gratitude a family affair. During dinner or before bedtime, have each family member share something they’re grateful for. This not only fosters a positive environment but also strengthens family bonds.
Another way to practice radical gratitude is by teaching yourself to find gratitude in challenges. Finding gratitude in difficult situations might seem tough, but it’s a powerful way to practice radical gratitude. Here are some strategies:
Reframing Negative Experiences: Instead of focusing on what went wrong, try to see what you can learn from the situation. Ask yourself, “What is this teaching me?” or “How can I grow from this?”
Focusing on Growth and Learning: Recognize that challenges often come with lessons. For example, a stressful work project might teach you new skills or reveal strengths you didn’t know you had.
Finding Silver Linings: Look for the positive aspects hidden within negative experiences. Even small things, like the support of a friend during a tough time, can be sources of gratitude.
Another aspect of learning to practice radical gratitude is mindfulness. In fact, mindfulness and gratitude go hand in hand. Here’s how you can combine them:
Mindful Breathing: Take a few moments each day to focus on your breath. As you breathe in and out, think about something you’re grateful for. This simple practice can help ground you and bring a sense of peace.
Being Present in the Moment: Pay attention to the small details around you. Whether it’s the sound of birds chirping or the feeling of the sun on your skin, appreciating these moments can enhance your sense of gratitude.
Appreciating Small Joys: Notice and savor the little things that bring you joy, like a warm shower, a good book, or a hug from your child.
I mentioned it earlier, but involving your family in gratitude practices can create a positive and supportive home environment. Here are some activities to try:
Creating Gratitude Jars: Have each family member write down things they’re grateful for on slips of paper and put them in a jar. On tough days, you can read these notes together to remind yourselves of the good things in your lives.
Sharing Gratitude at Dinner: Make it a tradition to go around the table during dinner and have everyone share one thing they’re thankful for. This can spark meaningful conversations and help everyone end the day on a positive note.
Family Gratitude Projects: Work on a gratitude-themed project together, like making a gratitude tree where each leaf represents something you’re thankful for.
Another great way to incorporate radical gratitude into your life is maintaining a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is a powerful tool for maintaining a positive mindset. Here are some tips to help you get started and keep going:
Daily Entries: Set aside a few minutes each day to jot down things you’re grateful for. Consistency is key, so try to make it a daily habit.
Reflecting on the Week: At the end of each week, look back at your entries. Reflecting on the positive moments can help reinforce your gratitude practice.
Noting Unexpected Blessings: Pay attention to unexpected joys and surprises. These moments often bring a special kind of gratitude that can brighten your day.
Last but not least are gratitude affirmations. Starting and ending your day with gratitude affirmations can set a positive tone and help you stay focused on the good things in your life. Here are some powerful affirmations to try:
“I am grateful for the strength to balance my roles.”: This affirmation can remind you of your resilience and capability as a working mom.
“I appreciate the small moments of joy.”: This helps you stay mindful of the little things that make life sweet.
“I am thankful for the love and support of my family.”: Recognizing the support system around you can foster a deeper sense of gratitude.
And my personal favorite is “All is well until I know differently.”: This has helped me countless times to focus on staying positive and not allowing my brain to go down any negative rabbit holes.
What I really want you to know is that practicing radical gratitude can truly transform your life as a working mom. By making a conscious effort to find appreciation in every situation, you can shift your perspective, reduce stress, and improve your overall well-being.
Whether it’s through daily rituals, embracing challenges with a grateful heart, or involving your family in gratitude practices, there are many ways to incorporate radical gratitude into your life. Start small, stay consistent, and watch how this powerful practice brings more joy, balance, and fulfillment into your everyday experiences.
Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about finding the good in the journey. So, take a moment today to appreciate the positives, no matter how small, and see how they can make a difference.
Questions to consider:
How can I find something positive in my current challenges? Reflect on a difficult situation you’re facing and identify at least three aspects that you can appreciate or learn from.
What small moments or daily rituals can I incorporate to practice gratitude? Think about simple ways to include gratitude in your daily routine, such as starting a morning gratitude journal or sharing gratitude with your family at dinner.
How can I involve my family in practicing radical gratitude to create a positive home environment? Consider activities that can bring your family together in a gratitude practice, like creating a gratitude jar or sharing things you’re thankful for at the end of each day.