Have you ever felt like there just aren’t enough hours in the day? You’re constantly busy, running from one task to the next, yet by the end of the day, it seems like nothing important really got done.
It’s a common feeling, and you’re not alone. Many of us are caught up in the whirlwind of daily life, juggling work, family, social commitments, and personal goals, all while trying to keep our heads above water.
But here’s the thing: it’s not really about how much time we have; it’s about how we use that time.
We all have things that matter deeply to us—our health, our relationships, our personal growth—but when we’re overwhelmed by our to-do lists, those things can easily get pushed to the side. It’s like trying to water a garden but only focusing on the weeds. The flowers, the things that actually bring beauty and value to our lives, get neglected.
That’s where priorities come in. Setting priorities is like deciding which flowers in your garden need the most care and attention.
When you know what’s most important to you, it becomes easier to say “yes” to the things that matter and “no” to the distractions. It’s not about doing more; it’s about doing what’s meaningful.
But let’s be honest—setting priorities isn’t always easy. Life is full of competing demands, and it can feel like everything is important.
Plus, there’s this pressure to keep everything balanced, to be perfect in all areas of life at once. The truth is, trying to do it all is a recipe for burnout. We end up spreading ourselves too thin, giving a little bit of energy to everything but never making real progress in the areas that truly count.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. You can take control of your time and focus on what really matters, but it starts with getting clear on your priorities.
By understanding what’s truly important to you and making deliberate choices about where you spend your time and energy, you can create a life that feels more fulfilling and less chaotic. It’s not about having a perfectly balanced life; it’s about living a life that aligns with your values and goals.
Today, I want to dive into why priorities matter so much and how you can start setting them in a way that brings more focus and satisfaction into your life. I’ve been coaching clients on this topic and have seen firsthand how powerful it can be when people take control of their priorities.
When you know what truly matters to you and start aligning your actions with those priorities, everything begins to change. You feel less overwhelmed, more in control, and more connected to the things that bring you joy and fulfillment.
It’s not just about managing your time better—it’s about creating a life that reflects your values and aspirations. By setting clear priorities, you can cut through the noise and focus on what really matters, making decisions that lead to a more balanced, purposeful, and satisfying life.
This week, I’m going to discuss why priorities get lost and how to set and align with your true priorities.
Why priorities get lost
As we know all too well, life has a way of pulling us in a million different directions. Whether it’s the constant demands of work, the responsibilities at home, or the desire to squeeze in some personal time, it often feels like we’re being stretched too thin.
But when everything seems equally urgent, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s truly important. This is where the real problem begins: we end up spending our time on tasks that demand our attention, rather than those that align with our deepest values and long-term goals.
For example, as a busy accountant who’s trying to meet tight deadlines during tax season, keep up with client emails, and still make it home in time for family dinner, non-work priorities can get lost. In the rush of trying to do it all, you might find yourself skipping your regular workouts or not getting enough sleep.
You’re handling the urgent demands of work but missing out on the things that keep you healthy and balanced. Over time, this can lead to burnout, where everything starts to feel overwhelming and unmanageable.
Part of the problem is that we often misunderstand or misalign our priorities. On a global level, we might say that our health, family, or personal growth are the most important things in our lives.
But when we look at how we actually spend our time, it’s clear that these priorities aren’t getting the attention they deserve. Instead, we might be dedicating most of our time to work, chores, or other obligations that feel pressing but aren’t as meaningful in the long run.
Let’s take health as an example. You might recognize that staying healthy is a top priority—after all, if you’re not healthy, everything else becomes harder.
But within that broad priority, you need to get specific. Are you prioritizing sleep, exercise, or nutrition? Maybe you’re focusing on diet but neglecting sleep, which is just as crucial for your overall well-being.
Or perhaps you’re so focused on losing weight that you’re resorting to unhealthy methods, like skipping meals or over-exercising, which actually harm your health rather than support it. This is what happens when we don’t take the time to clearly define and align our priorities within different areas of our lives.
The interesting thing is that we often hear that we should aim for a balanced life, where everything gets equal attention. But the truth is, striving for perfect balance can actually hold you back.
When you try to do a little bit of everything, you end up spreading yourself too thin. Instead of excelling in any one area, you end up feeling like you’re just getting by in all of them. This pursuit of balance can lead to mediocrity because you’re not giving your full attention to the things that really matter.
For example, let’s say you’re trying to balance work, family, personal interests, and self-care all at once. You might feel guilty if you spend too much time at work and not enough with your kids, or vice versa. But in trying to give everything equal attention, you might find that you’re not making meaningful progress in any area.
The key is to recognize that it’s okay to let some things take a backseat temporarily so you can focus on what’s most important at that moment. For example, during a busy work project, you might need to let go of some personal interests for a while, but that doesn’t mean you’re neglecting them forever—it’s just about timing and focus.
Another challenge is the constant pull of urgent tasks. I’ve discussed this before on the podcast, unfortunately, our brains are wired to think that everything is urgent which makes things like answering emails, dealing with minor crises, or responding to notifications seem vital in the moment.
They make you feel busy, but they don’t always contribute to your long-term goals or overall well-being. It’s easy to get caught up in reacting to what feels urgent, only to realize later that you haven’t made any real progress on the things that truly matter.
For example, let’s say you start your day intending to work on a big project that’s important for your career growth. But as soon as you check your email, you get sidetracked by a flurry of messages that need quick responses.
Before you know it, half the day is gone, and you haven’t even touched your main project. The urgent tasks took over, pushing aside what was important.
This happens all the time—urgent tasks overshadow important ones, and we end up spending our days reacting rather than acting with intention.
The bottom line is that when priorities get lost in the mix of daily demands, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unfulfilled. By understanding the challenges that come with balancing too many demands, misaligned priorities, the myth of balance, and the constant pull of urgency, you can start to see why it’s so important to take control of your time and focus on what truly matters.
How to set and align with your true priorities
The first step to aligning your life with your true priorities is to clearly identify what they are. This involves more than just listing broad categories like “health” or “family.”
Instead, it requires you to dig deeper and define specific priorities within these areas. Start by thinking about what really matters to you on a global level—your overall life goals and values. Then, break these down into specific priorities for different areas of your life.
For example, if you identify “health” as a top priority, ask yourself what that truly means for you. Is it about maintaining a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, prioritizing mental health, or all of the above?
Maybe for you, health means getting eight hours of sleep every night or finding time each day to meditate. By breaking down your global priorities into specific, actionable items, you can better focus your time and energy on what matters most.
One of my coaching clients knew that her family was her top priority, but within that broad category, she identified that spending quality time with her kids each evening mattered most to her.
For her career, she’s prioritized finishing the last part of the CPA exam within the next year. By clearly identifying these specific priorities, she made better decisions about how to allocate her time.
Once you’ve identified your true priorities, the next step is to focus on them strategically. One effective approach is to use “priority periods.” These are specific times when you concentrate intensely on one major priority, allowing you to make significant progress in that area without the distraction of trying to balance everything at once.
For example, imagine you’ve identified improving your physical fitness as a priority. Instead of trying to fit workouts into an already packed schedule, you might designate the next three months as a priority period for fitness.
During this time, you could decide to scale back on other commitments—perhaps social activities or non-essential work tasks—so you can fully focus on establishing a regular exercise routine and healthier eating habits.
To align your daily actions with your true priorities, start with these practical steps:
Keep a Time Journal: Spend a week tracking how you spend your time each day. Write down everything you do, from work tasks to leisure activities.
At the end of the week, review your journal and compare it to your identified priorities. Are you spending your time on what matters most, or are you getting sidetracked by less important activities?
Make Adjustments: After reviewing your time journal, identify areas where you can make adjustments. For example, if you notice that you’re spending too much time on social media and not enough on your health, set limits on your social media use and schedule time for exercise instead.
These small adjustments can help you realign your daily actions with your true priorities.
Reflect on Life’s Legacy: A powerful way to ensure your priorities are in order is to reflect on how you’d spend your time if you knew you only had a limited time to live. If you had just six months or five years left, what would you focus on?
This exercise can help you clarify what’s truly important and encourage you to make meaningful changes now, rather than waiting until it’s too late.
And the last thing I want to mention is that it’s essential to approach life with intention. Living deliberately means making conscious choices that align with your values and priorities.
It’s about taking charge of your life’s direction, rather than letting it be dictated by outside demands or distractions.
For example, if one of your priorities is to spend more time with your family, make deliberate choices to protect that time. This might mean setting boundaries at work, such as not checking emails after a certain hour, so you can be fully present at home.
Or, if personal growth is a priority, you might commit to reading for an hour each day or taking a class that interests you.
Living deliberately also involves regularly reassessing your priorities and making adjustments as needed. Life is dynamic, and what’s important to you now may change over time.
By staying connected to your true priorities and making intentional decisions, you can create a life that’s not only successful but also deeply fulfilling.
So hopefully you can see that taking the time to identify and align your life with your true priorities can be transformative. It’s about more than just managing your time; it’s about making sure that your time is spent on what really matters to you.
Remember, it’s not about trying to balance everything perfectly—it’s about choosing what’s most important and giving it the attention it deserves. Start today by identifying your priorities, and watch how it changes your life for the better.
Questions to consider:
Question: “What are the specific areas in my life where I’m spending the most time, and do they truly reflect what’s most important to me?” Asking this question is crucial because it helps you identify whether your daily actions align with your core values and goals. Recognizing any disconnect can be the first step toward making meaningful changes that bring your life more in line with what truly matters.
Question: “If I had just six months to live, what would I want to focus on, and how can I start integrating those priorities into my life now?” This is important because it forces you to confront what truly matters most to you, beyond the distractions of everyday life. By thinking about your legacy and the impact you want to leave, you can start prioritizing what really deserves your time and attention.
Question: “What is one area of my life where my actions are not aligned with my stated priorities, and what small, specific change can I make this week?” Reflecting on this question is key to personal growth. It encourages you to take immediate, actionable steps to realign your life with your priorities, helping you to gradually build a life that reflects your true values and aspirations.