With Mother’s Day in a week, I decided that for the next two weeks, I’m going to talk about the impact of working moms on daughters and sons. This week I’m just focusing on daughters, but if you don’t have a daughter, I would still listen in because, let’s face it, you are a daughter and you never know what you might discover.
And if you have a daughter like I do, I want to talk about something that’s probably crossed your mind as a working mom: how your career is impacting your daughter. It’s one of those things we think about in the quiet moments, wondering if what we’re doing is helping her or holding her back.
Maybe you’ve asked yourself, “Am I showing her the right example?” Or, “Does she feel like I’m not there enough?” These questions can feel heavy because, let’s be honest, being a mom comes with its own suitcase of guilt, and working just seems to add more to it.
But here’s the thing: the impact you’re having on your daughter might be more powerful than you realize. It’s not just about how many hours you’re home or how many soccer practices you make it to—it’s about what she’s seeing and learning from you every single day.
Think about how you balance work, family, and everything else. Even when it feels messy, she’s watching. She’s seeing how you navigate challenges, juggle priorities, and show up for the things that matter. What do you think that’s teaching her about life?
Now, I get it. It’s hard not to worry about the moments you miss or the days when it feels like there’s just not enough of you to go around. But have you ever stopped to think about what she’s gaining from having a mom who’s out there building something meaningful?
Your career isn’t just about you; it’s part of her story too. It’s shaping how she sees her own potential and what’s possible for her in the future. Could it be that you’re showing her something she wouldn’t learn any other way?
I know these questions have followed me since I had my daughter, Kelly, 32 years ago. What impact would having a working mom have on her?
The thing is, working moms are changing the game, and daughters are growing up in a world where they see that women can lead, create, and thrive. How does that shift her view of what she can be?
This is why I wanted to dig into this topic. Because I think it’s easy to overlook the amazing things you’re teaching your daughter just by being who you are. Have you ever paused to think about that?
As we dive into this episode, I want to explore the unique impact we have on our daughters. But before we get into the details, let’s start with this: what if being a working mom is one of the best things you can do for her? What if the things you’re worrying about aren’t the things that matter most?
This week, I’m going to discuss how working moms shape ambition and confidence in daughters, and how to balance challenges and build a stronger connection.
How working moms shape ambition and confidence in daughters
Have you ever stopped to think about how much your daughter is soaking up just by watching you? When she sees you head to work, tackle challenges, and keep striving toward your goals, she’s learning more than you realize. You’re not just her mom—you’re her first example of what ambition and confidence look like in real life.
Daughters of working moms often grow up with a clear message: “You can aim high and make it happen.” In fact, a study by Harvard Business School found that daughters of working mothers tend to earn higher wages and are more likely to land leadership roles.
It’s like they’ve been handed an unspoken permission slip to go after what they want, simply because they’ve watched us do the same.
But it’s not just about climbing career ladders. When our daughters see us balancing work and family, they’re learning that a woman’s place isn’t confined to one role.
We’re showing her that women can contribute to the world in meaningful ways while still loving and supporting their families. This challenges outdated gender roles and teaches her to expect equality and independence, both for herself and those around her.
A few years ago I interviewed both my daughter and son for the podcast and asked how having a working mom has impacted each of them. Kelly shared that growing up, she watched me juggle a demanding job while staying deeply involved in her life.
Although she isn’t a mother yet, she knows that anything is possible in her finance career. She knows that she can work and be a mom without sacrificing either.
And let’s not forget about resilience. When your daughter sees you navigate tough days or adapt when plans go sideways, she’s learning problem-solving skills that will serve her throughout her life. Watching you manage time, handle stress, and stay focused teaches her that challenges are just part of the process, not a reason to give up.
Your daughter is building her confidence and drive by watching how you live your life. She sees your persistence, your dedication, and the way you keep showing up, even when things get hard. That’s a lesson no classroom can teach.
But being a working mom isn’t without its challenges, especially when it comes to making time for meaningful connections. Next, I want to explore how you can balance those challenges and strengthen the bond with your daughter in ways that truly matter.
Balancing challenges and building a stronger connection
I’ll be honest – I can’t even count the times I wondered if I was doing enough for my daughter. There were moments when I felt guilty leaving her for work, especially when she was younger, and I’d question if she felt the same connection with me as she would if I stayed home.
But one of the biggest lessons I learned was that guilt doesn’t help either of us. What really matters is the time you do spend together and how intentional you are with it.
I stopped beating myself up over what I couldn’t do and started focusing on what I could. For me, it wasn’t about trying to carve out hours of “perfect” mom-daughter time. It was about making small moments count, like time in the car to and from the babysitter or school, or tucking her in at night with our little bedtime routine.
One thing that made a big difference was being honest with her about why I worked. I shared with her early on that being an accountant was something I knew I wanted to be since 10th grade and that having an accounting career allowed me to provide for my family and be an example of what’s possible when she got older.
She might not have fully understood it at first, but she gets it now. When she was younger, I could see her starting to take pride in what I was doing. Kids are incredibly intuitive. They can feel when your work has meaning, and when they know they’re part of that purpose, it deepens your connection.
I also found that open communication was key. Whenever I had to miss something important—like a school function or a soccer game—I made sure to explain why. I’d tell her, “I’m so sorry I can’t be there this time, but let’s plan a special celebration afterward.”
It wasn’t about making excuses; it was about helping her understand that while I couldn’t always be physically present, she was always in my heart.
We also made a point to have one-on-one time together, watching a favorite show or going to do something that was meaningful to her. As she got older, we called them “Mommy/Daughter date nights” and would check out different restaurants in our area.
Those rituals weren’t just a way to spend time together—they became traditions she looked forward to, no matter how busy life got.
Another thing I learned was to include her in my world whenever I could. If I had a particularly exciting project at work, I’d share it with her in a way she could understand. I wanted her to see that my work wasn’t just a “have to” but a “get to.”
And sometimes, I’d ask for her opinion—whether it was about choosing between two ideas or deciding which outfit to wear to work. It made her feel included and showed her that her thoughts mattered.
Research supports what I’ve seen firsthand—kids with engaged working moms often feel more supported and inspired. It’s not about how many hours you spend with them; it’s about how present you are during the time you do have.
When you’re there, be all in. Put down the phone, step away from the laptop, and let them feel like they’re the most important thing in the world.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of “balancing it all,” just remember: balance doesn’t mean perfect. It means finding what works for you and your daughter.
Maybe it’s a quick walk after dinner to catch up on her day. Or a weekly breakfast date before school where she gets to pick the menu. Whatever it is, those moments will stick with her—and with you.
The truth is, it’s not always easy to juggle work and motherhood, but it’s incredibly worth it. And as you focus on those small, meaningful interactions, you’ll start to see something amazing: the lessons you’re teaching her aren’t just about connection—they’re about resilience, ambition, and independence.
Before I wrap up, let’s take a moment to appreciate what you’re doing as a working mom. You’re not just getting through your to-do list or making ends meet—you’re teaching your daughter how to navigate life with confidence, resilience, and independence. She’s watching you, learning from you, and taking in more than you realize.
Think about it: every time you face a challenge and keep going, you’re showing her how to handle life’s ups and downs. Every decision you make to prioritize what matters most teaches her the value of focus and determination. You’re giving her the tools to believe in herself and to know she’s capable of big things.
But it doesn’t stop there. By showing up in your career and your life, you’re challenging outdated gender roles and redefining what’s possible for women. Daughters of working moms grow up with a front-row seat to a different narrative—one where women can lead, contribute, and thrive. They take that example and carry it into their own lives, often advocating for workplace equality and inspiring others to do the same.
The ripple effect is real. The lessons you’re teaching your daughter today will shape how she shows up in the world tomorrow. And not just her—she’ll influence others around her. You’re playing a part in creating a future where women’s voices and contributions are valued equally. How amazing is that?
I know it’s easy to second-guess yourself or wonder if you’re doing enough. But let me remind you: you are making an incredible impact, even in ways you can’t always see. The love, strength, and example you provide are some of the greatest gifts you can give her.
Here’s what I’d love for you to do—take a moment to reflect on how your role as a working mom is influencing your daughter. What do you hope she’s learning from you? What parts of your journey do you think she’ll carry with her? And if you feel inspired, share your story with us. Your experience might be just what another mom needs to hear.
You’re not just balancing work and family; you’re shaping a future where women and their contributions are valued equally—starting with your daughter. Keep going, and know that what you’re doing matters more than you might ever know.
Questions to consider
Question: What lessons am I showing her through my actions, not just my words?
Kids are like little mirrors, reflecting what they see us do. It’s not just about what we tell them—it’s about how we live our lives. So, ask yourself: “What is she picking up from the way I handle tough days or go after my goals?” This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being intentional. When you reflect on this, you can adjust how you show up in ways that align with the values you want to pass on.
Question: How can I make the time we do have together really count?
We all feel the pull of a busy schedule, but it’s often the smallest, most intentional moments that stick. What if a quick bedtime story or a five-minute car ride chat could make all the difference? Think about what makes her light up. What’s one small way you can show her she’s your priority, even in the chaos?
Question: What do I want her to take away from watching me work and live my life?
Your work and choices tell a story she’s always watching. What message do you want to send? Is it that she can handle challenges? That it’s okay to pursue big dreams? Reflect on this question, and you’ll find yourself more intentional about the legacy you’re creating—not just for her, but through her.