Let me ask you something—have you ever thought about how being a working mom is impacting your son? Last week, I talked about how we influence our daughters, but today, I want to dig into how we shape our sons. It’s a big topic, isn’t it? We’re raising the next generation of men, and the lessons they’re learning from us now are shaping the kind of men they’ll become.
Here’s the thing—your son is always watching, even when it doesn’t seem like it. He’s noticing how you juggle work, family, and all the other responsibilities on your plate.
He’s paying attention to how you handle tough moments, how you celebrate wins, and how you show up every single day. What do you think he’s learning from all of that?
We often think about the messages we’re sending to our daughters, but our sons are soaking up just as much. Have you ever stopped to wonder what he’s learning about women by watching you? Or how seeing you work hard might shape the kind of partner or leader he’ll be one day?
And it’s not just about what you’re doing—it’s about what you’re showing him is possible. By pursuing your career while raising a family, you’re setting an example of strength and capability that he’ll carry with him for the rest of his life. How do you think that might change the way he sees the roles of men and women in the world?
I know it’s easy to get caught up in the guilt—missing a baseball game, working late, or feeling like there’s never enough of you to go around. But what if, just for a minute, you let that go? What if you focused on the good you’re doing and the lessons you’re teaching without even realizing it?
The truth is, being a working mom isn’t just about balancing a career and family—it’s about shaping your son’s understanding of respect, resilience, and relationships. It’s about helping him grow into a man who values equality, works hard, and knows how to connect with others in meaningful ways.
So today, let’s dive into what that impact looks like. Because when you think about it, you’re not just raising a son—you’re shaping the kind of man who will make the world a better place. How incredible is that?
This week, I’m going to discuss modeling respect, equality, and emotional intelligence for our sons as well as teaching resilience, work ethic, and the value of connection.
Modeling respect, equality, and emotional intelligence for our sons
Have you ever thought about what your son picks up just by watching you? I think about this a lot when I look back on my son growing up. He might not have always said much, but I could tell he was paying attention—to how I handled work, made decisions, and juggled everything on my plate.
Even though I wasn’t a boss at work when he was little, he saw how committed I was to doing my best. He watched me show up every day, put in the effort, and stay dedicated, even when things were hard.
That taught him something important: success isn’t just about being in charge. It’s about showing up, working hard, and contributing in meaningful ways.
One of the biggest lessons he learned was about equality. By seeing me work, he grew up understanding that women can do anything—they’re not limited to certain roles or jobs. He saw firsthand that women are capable and have choices, just like men.
And you know what’s amazing? Research shows that sons of working moms are more likely to share household responsibilities and support their partners’ careers when they grow up. Isn’t that such an incredible ripple effect?
I also noticed how my work influenced the way he respected women. Watching me juggle multiple responsibilities while still finding time for him taught him that respect isn’t just something you talk about—it’s something you show through actions.
Once, he told me that when he gets married, he wants a partner who has a career and wants to work. He said it creates more of a partnership, and he believes kids learn more independence when they have a working mom. That moment stuck with me because it reminded me of how much our example shapes their thinking.
And then there’s emotional intelligence. Being a working mom naturally means dealing with a mix of emotions—stressful days, unexpected changes, and little victories along the way.
My son saw me navigate all of that, and it taught him to understand and connect with people on a deeper level. Those moments showed him that emotions aren’t something to hide from; they’re part of life.
Research backs this up, too. Studies show that sons of working moms often have stronger emotional awareness and better relational skills. They’ve seen us handle life’s ups and downs with care and determination, and it sticks with them. It’s not about what we say—it’s about what we do every single day.
When I look at my son now, I see a young man who values respect, equality, and connection. These weren’t lessons I set out to teach directly, but he learned them from the way I showed up in life.
And while these are invaluable traits, being a working mom also teaches our sons something just as important: how to face challenges with resilience, develop a strong work ethic, and build meaningful connections. Let’s talk about those lessons next.
Teaching resilience, work ethic, and the value of connection
Have you ever noticed how much our kids learn just by watching us handle life’s challenges? I’ve thought about this so many times when I look back at my son growing up. He saw me navigate plenty of curveballs, and even though I didn’t realize it at the time, I was teaching him resilience just by how I handled things.
There were moments when things didn’t go as planned—tight deadlines, tough decisions, or those long days that felt like they’d never end. He saw me push through, even when I was tired or frustrated. That taught him an important lesson: you don’t give up when things get hard. You find a way through.
I remember when I went through a divorce from his dad. It was a tough time, but I made a point not to let what was happening at home affect my work. Over the years, we’ve talked about it, and he’s told me how much that stuck with him. Even in those hard moments, I was showing him what perseverance looks like.
But it’s not just about resilience—it’s also about showing our kids the value of hard work. My son grew up seeing me valuing my accounting career, not because I had to, but because I wanted to provide for our family and contribute to something meaningful. It wasn’t glamorous, but it mattered, and he noticed.
One of my favorite examples of this was when he graduated college and got his first job offer. The HR director asked him when he wanted to start, and he told her he’d be ready that Monday. She was surprised and asked if he wanted to take a little time off first.
He said, “No, I was raised by a working mom with a strong work ethic, so I’ll start on Monday.” That moment brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me just how much our actions speak louder than words.
And while resilience and hard work are huge lessons, it’s also about connection. Life gets busy, but I’ve learned that the little moments matter so much more than the big ones.
For us, it was simple things like going to Dunkin’ Donuts and watching the trains go by or playing Guitar Hero after dinner. Those weren’t grand gestures, but they were our moments, and they showed him that he was always my priority.
One of my favorite traditions was cooking together. Whether it was him helping me with breakfast on the weekends or being my sous chef for dinner, it gave us time to talk and laugh. It was our way of staying connected, no matter how busy things got.
When I look back, I realize those small, consistent efforts to connect made all the difference. They taught him that relationships are built in the little moments, not just the big ones. And when combined with lessons of resilience and hard work, they set the foundation for the man he’s becoming.
I’ve often said that my son, Brendan, was “my person,” but at no other time has that been more apparent than while I was recently dealing with my cancer diagnosis and chemotherapy. He now lives in Colorado, and I’m in NY, so he decided that he wanted to call me every day for a check-in – we started calling it a “Daily Daily Dose Of Brendan.”
One day, he asked me how I was handling everything I had on my plate – my accounting job, running my coaching business, creating a podcast for the CPA MOMS podcast and one for The Smarter Accountant Podcast, while also coaching all my clients. I explained that a solid work ethic means handling ALL of life’s ups and downs.
He told me that he always thought I was strong, but after watching me handle this latest hurdle, he now gets all the lessons I’ve been teaching him over the years. I’ve said it on the podcast and he’s heard me say it hundreds of times, but when you understand how to manage your mind, you can truly manage everything else.
The truth is that the impact of working moms on sons will have a ripple effect for generations to come. I see us raising the next generation of men who see women as equals; who are willing to do what it takes to run a household and raise a family; who respect women in the workplace because they respect what their working moms do.
I see those men changing the narrative in their own workplace and supporting women’s initiatives; and those in leadership roles valuing the hard work and dedication of working moms.
I see us changing the beliefs about what women are capable of, one little boy at a time.
So, while it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and wonder if we’re doing enough, I promise you—you’re making a bigger impact than you know. You’re raising a man who will carry all the lessons you live by into the world, making it better in ways you might not even imagine yet. And that, my friend, is something to be incredibly proud of.
Questions to consider
Question: What values am I modeling for my son through my actions, not just my words?
Sometimes it’s easy to focus on what we tell our kids, but they’re learning just as much—if not more—from how we live our lives. Ask yourself, “What does my son see in the way I handle work, challenges, and relationships?” Reflecting on this can help you identify the specific traits you want to model, like resilience, respect, and empathy, and guide you to live those values more intentionally.
Question: How can I create consistent moments of connection, even with a busy schedule?
No matter how full your calendar gets, small, intentional interactions can have a lasting impact. Think about what rituals or traditions you can establish—like a weekly breakfast date, building something together, or even a quick daily check-in—to let your son know he’s a priority. These moments show him that relationships are built through effort and care, even when life feels hectic.
Question: How am I preparing my son to value equality and respect in his future relationships?
Your son is forming his views on gender roles and respect by watching how you navigate your career and family life. Reflect on the example you’re setting—does it demonstrate mutual respect, shared responsibility, and teamwork? Consider how you can engage in conversations about equality and fairness to reinforce these lessons and help him carry them into adulthood.