In the fast-paced modern world that we live in, the role of mothers in the workforce has changed a lot. Today, we find ourselves struggling more than ever to balance our professional goals with the responsibilities of motherhood.
As we try to do our best, we are often confronted with challenges, from societal expectations to the internal struggle of dividing our time between work and home. And in the midst of this juggling act, most of us have significant others in our lives.
Unless we’re a single mom, we typically have someone in our lives and our children’s lives. The truth is that in the life of a busy accountant mom, the support of dads and partners can often be a crucial factor, helping to hold the delicate balance between work and family life.
Unfortunately, the societal expectations and stereotypes surrounding working moms haven’t gotten any better over the years. They just add an additional layer of pressure, often creating an environment where professional success is measured against traditional gender roles.
Because of this, the role of dads and partners is even more critical. It’s not just about being a helping hand in managing household chores; it’s about actively participating in changing the narrative and the societal expectations that burden working moms.
The truth is that the need for a supportive partner goes beyond just helping bring a child to a soccer game; it’s about creating an environment where both parents can pursue their ambitions without compromising the well-being of the family.
The interesting thing is that research consistently highlights the positive impact of supportive dads and partners on working moms. The truth is that when fathers or partners actively share household responsibilities, it not only lightens the load for working moms but also contributes to a more harmonious work-life balance.
This, in turn, has a direct correlation with the well-being of the children. Research shows that children raised in households where both parents are actively involved in caregiving tend to exhibit better emotional and behavioral outcomes.
As I dive into this touchy subject, it’s important to explore tangible ways in which dads and partners can provide meaningful support to working moms. Beyond the conventional division of household chores, emotional and mental support are equally as important.
Encouraging and promoting self-care for working moms becomes a shared responsibility. Together, we need to acknowledge the importance of nurturing our mental and emotional health amid the demands of modern life.
Because this episode is for you as much as it is for your significant other, I’m going to encourage you to listen to this episode either with your partner or ask them to listen to it on their own. My hope is that all working moms have supportive partners who appreciate and support the amazing women they have in their lives.
This week I’m going to discuss understanding the challenges, the benefits of supportive dads and partners, and ways dads and partners can support working moms.
Understanding the challenges
The intricate dance of balancing work responsibilities with parenting duties is a challenge that all working moms face daily. In the accounting profession, with the increasing demands of time and commitment, we often find ourselves struggling to keep our heads above water.
The pressure to excel in our careers often clashes with the innate desire to be present for our children, leading to internal conflicts and a constant struggle to divide time effectively. Plus, as I said before, we also often have unfair societal expectations placed on us.
For thousands of years, societal norms have dictated traditional gender roles, framing women primarily as caregivers. However, when a mother chooses to pursue a career, she often deals with societal judgments and expectations that challenge her ability to be fully present in both her professional and family roles.
Unfortunately, this societal pressure adds an extra layer of stress, making the juggling act even more demanding.
Let’s now kid ourselves – the outdated notion that a mother’s primary role is within the home continues, even today. When this notion isn’t addressed, it can create a gender bias that potentially affects your professional growth.
As working moms, we also frequently confront skepticism and prejudice, as if our commitment to our careers is at odds with our commitment to our families. These challenges not only impact our confidence and well-being but also underscore the need for a supportive partner who can help to challenge and breakdown these stereotypes.
It’s also important to point out that the toll of balancing work and family responsibilities goes beyond feeling physically exhausted; it often affects our emotional and mental well-being. The constant pressure to meet high expectations, especially as accountants, coupled with societal scrutiny, can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout.
Unfortunately, the emotional toll of both professional and family areas of our lives often goes unnoticed and unacknowledged. We want to seem like we have it all together, even when we’re falling apart at the seams.
This is why supportive dads and partners play a pivotal role in helping lessen this emotional and mental burden.
It’s not about giving up on a career while you have a family; it’s about everyone participating in shared responsibilities. Just because society has historically created its preconceived notions about what our roles should be doesn’t mean we don’t get to create a “new normal.”
Here’s the thing – through communication, understanding, empathy, and shared responsibility, partners can create an environment where working moms feel supported and valued. Once we understand each other better and aren’t ashamed to be vulnerable, we can hopefully get the help and support we need.
The benefits of supportive dads and partners
You may agree with this or not, but I believe working moms don’t need a companion; we need a true partner. We need someone who pays attention to the challenges of both work and family life and contributes to the well-being of the entire family.
One of the primary benefits of having a supportive partner is the improvement of work-life balance for working moms. Shared responsibilities, both at home and in parenting, decrease the pressure, allowing us to dedicate more focused and quality time to our professional pursuits.
The truth is that no one’s career should be more important than the other. As an accountant mom, you worked hard to be where you are, and your career goals should not take a back seat to anyone or anything.
Thankfully, when dads and partners actively participate in household chores, childcare, and other household responsibilities, it creates a supportive ecosystem where we can pursue our careers with reduced stress and guilt. The burden of the juggling act becomes more manageable, making it possible to have an environment where both partners can thrive in their respective roles.
It’s also important to point out the positive impact on your children’s well-being. The influence of supportive dads and partners extends beyond the immediate benefits for working moms; it positively impacts the well-being of your children.
As I shared earlier, research consistently shows that children raised in households where both parents actively engage in caregiving and household responsibilities tend to experience better emotional and behavioral outcomes.
Having a dad or partner who is present, involved, and supportive not only strengthens the parent-child relationship but also sets a positive example for the children. Witnessing a gender-neutral partnership in raising children and running a household helps shape their understanding of equality and shared responsibilities.
Remember, they’re always watching you, learning a healthy perspective on family dynamics.
When my children were growing up, I was married to their dad, my first husband. He had grown up in a family with 3 sisters and his mother had everyone do every chore, whether you were a boy or a girl.
My children saw their dad helping with things that were traditionally considered “women’s work.” They learned not to stereotype who did what but to see everything as the responsibility of the family unit.
Collaborative parenting and shared responsibilities create a sense of unity and teamwork. It not only benefits the working mom but also creates a sense of harmony where both parents feel valued and understood.
But here’s the thing moms: we need to be willing to have the conversation with our partner. We cannot assume that they can read our minds, nor should they.
Most of our partners have been raised with the same stereotypes that society at large has had and probably witnessed the division of duties in their own family household growing up. If we want a “new normal,” we have to be willing to have open and honest conversations about what that looks like.
Ways dads and partners can support working moms
Beyond recognizing the importance of support, it’s important to discuss practical strategies that can make a meaningful impact.
One of the fundamental ways dads and partners can support us is by actively sharing household responsibilities. This involves an equitable distribution of chores, from daily tasks such as cooking and cleaning to more long-term responsibilities like managing finances and home maintenance.
By adopting a collaborative approach to household duties, our partners create a more balanced environment, allowing us to focus on our professional commitments without feeling overwhelmed by domestic tasks.
Sharing household responsibilities is not only about lightening the load but also about creating a sense of partnership and equality within the relationship. It sends a powerful message that both partners are equally invested in the success and well-being of the family, breaking away from traditional gender roles that put a lot of pressure on working moms in the past.
The second way dads and partners can support working moms is by providing emotional and mental support. This type of support is invaluable when trying to balance a career and a family.
The truth is that dads and partners can play a pivotal role by actively listening, understanding the challenges we face, and providing a safe space for open communication. Acknowledging the emotional toll that comes with juggling multiple roles is essential for creating a supportive environment.
By a supportive partner validating our efforts and offering encouragement and reassurance during challenging times, we can continue doing what we’re doing. This emotional support involves understanding the pressures we face and empathizing with our experiences.
It’s about understanding that we don’t want our partners to try to fix things; we just need to be heard and validated. But we also need to own our part; if we want help fixing something, we need to ask for that help, but more times than not, a partner can support us by listening, the way a good girlfriend would.
The third way that dads and partners can support working moms is by encouraging self-care. Amid the demands of work and family life, self-care often takes a backseat.
Dads and partners can contribute significantly by actively encouraging and promoting self-care practices. This involves recognizing the importance of personal well-being and ensuring that we have the time and space to engage in activities that bring us joy and relaxation.
From encouraging self-care time to providing assistance with childcare responsibilities, supportive partners play a crucial role in creating an environment where we prioritize our mental and physical health. Encouraging hobbies and offering breaks can contribute to a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.
When my children were younger, I would go upstate to my parent’s trailer on a lake, without the kids. My ex-husband knew that I needed time away from everyone as my form of self-care.
The funny thing was that when I shared with other moms how I would get away by myself, they often gave me strange looks and judged me. I quickly realized that sometimes women have a hard time acknowledging their own needs and feel challenged by someone who does.
Hopefully, you can now see that there are many ways that dads and partners can support us as we balance a career and a family. We just have to be willing to get clear about what we need and then have an open and honest conversation, allowing a true partnership to become possible.
The final point I want to leave you with is if you have a supportive partner or they’re working on being more supportive, let them know you appreciate them. No one wants to be taken for granted, so make sure you’re validating their efforts as much as you want them to validate yours.
As I say all the time, it may take a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to support the mother raising that child. With a supportive partner by your side, there are so many possibilities for you and your family.
Summary
The truth is that in the life of a busy accountant mom, the support of dads and partners can often be a crucial factor, helping to hold the delicate balance between work and family life.
The truth is that the need for a supportive partner goes beyond just helping bring a child to a soccer game; it’s about creating an environment where both parents can pursue their ambitions without compromising the well-being of the family.