What if, by this time next year, your life could look completely different? Not because you won the lottery or landed your dream client but because you made one small, manageable shift at a time.
It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But if you’ve ever kicked off a new year feeling energized by the promise of change, only to find yourself stuck by February, you’re not alone.
As accountant moms, we juggle so much—our careers, families, relationships, and personal goals. It’s easy to feel like real change is just out of reach. But here’s the thing: the problem isn’t that you’re not trying hard enough.
It’s that most of us focus on what we do—our habits or routines—without addressing what’s driving them. And that’s like trying to fix a leaky faucet by mopping the floor.
The truth is lasting change doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from understanding the thoughts, feelings, and actions that fuel your results. And once you start addressing those, everything else becomes easier.
In this episode, I want to help you approach change differently. Forget just setting more goals. Let’s focus on the foundation—the small shifts in your mindset that create big, lasting results.
This week, I’m going to discuss why change feels so hard, the key to lasting change, and a 12-month roadmap for lasting change.
Why change feels so hard
Have you ever made a resolution to eat healthier, be more patient with your kids, or finally manage your time better, only to feel stuck a few weeks later?
It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You wonder why you can’t seem to make lasting changes, even when you’re giving it your all.
Here’s the thing: most of us start at the surface level. We think, “If I just wake up earlier, get more organized, or power through, everything will fall into place.” And for a while, it might work.
But then life throws you a curveball—an unexpected deadline, a sick kid, sheer exhaustion—and suddenly, you’re back to old habits.
The truth is that it’s not about being lazy or unmotivated. It’s about focusing on actions without understanding what’s driving them. It’s like building a house without a foundation—it’s just not going to hold up.
Your thoughts create your feelings, and those feelings drive your actions. Let me give you an example.
If you’re thinking, “I’ll never get everything done,” you’re going to feel overwhelmed. And when you feel overwhelmed, what do you do? You might procrastinate or try to multitask, neither of which helps. But when you shift that thought to, “I can handle this one step at a time,” everything starts to feel more manageable.
Change feels hard because we skip this step. We try to fix the actions without addressing the thoughts and feelings behind them. But once you understand how those three elements work together, change becomes a whole lot easier.
The Key to Lasting Change
So, if trying harder and doing more hasn’t worked, what’s the answer?
The answer lies in focusing on small, manageable shifts. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life. You just need to start with one thought, one feeling, or one action at a time.
This idea is rooted in what’s called The Model, the tool I teach my coaching clients and what I discussed in my book “The Smarter Accountant.” The Model consists of the five elements of change:
Circumstances: The things happening around you that you can’t control, like deadlines, client demands, or your kids’ behavior.
Thoughts: The sentences running through your mind about those circumstances, like “I’ll never get this done.”
Feelings: The emotions created by those thoughts—overwhelm, frustration, calm, or confidence.
Actions: What you do based on how you feel—whether you procrastinate, prioritize, or avoid.
Results: The outcomes you create from those actions.
When you shift even one part of this process—like your thoughts—you can change the entire chain reaction.
Let’s break this down with an example:
Imagine it’s Monday morning, and your email inbox is overflowing. Your circumstance—100 unread emails. Your first thought might be, “I’ll never get through this.” That thought creates feelings of stress, which lead you to procrastinate or try to multitask. The result? The emails pile up even more.
Now imagine shifting that thought to, “I can tackle this one step at a time.” That new thought creates feelings of calm and focus, which lead you to prioritize your emails and work more efficiently. The result? You make progress without the stress.
That’s the framework for lasting change, now let me share a 12-month roadmap for the upcoming year.
A 12-Month Roadmap for Lasting Change
The beauty of this approach is that it’s simple and sustainable. You don’t need to tackle everything at once. Instead, you can focus on small shifts each month, building momentum over time.
January: Start simple—observe your thoughts.
Why it matters: Awareness is the first step to change. Without it, we stay stuck in autopilot, reacting to life instead of intentionally shaping it. How to do it: Spend a few minutes each day noticing the sentences running through your mind, especially in challenging moments. Write them down to uncover patterns and triggers.
February: Pick one thought to shift.
Why it matters: Your thoughts are the foundation for how you feel and act. Changing one thought can have a ripple effect on your entire experience. How to do it: Choose a recurring thought that causes stress, like “I can’t handle this.” Replace it with something more empowering, like “I can take this one step at a time,” and practice it consistently.
March: Notice your feelings.
Why it matters: Your emotions drive your actions. Understanding the connection between your thoughts and feelings allows you to respond intentionally rather than react impulsively. How to do it: When you feel a strong emotion, pause and ask, “What thought just caused this?” Over time, this practice builds emotional awareness and resilience.
April: Refine one action.
Why it matters: Small, intentional changes in behavior create tangible results over time. Focusing on one action prevents overwhelm and builds confidence. How to do it: Pick one area to improve, like organizing your workspace or setting clearer priorities. Spend five minutes each morning planning your top three tasks.
May: Assess your progress.
Why it matters: Reflection helps you celebrate wins and identify what needs adjustment. It’s a chance to refine your approach and build momentum. How to do it: At the end of the month, review your progress. Celebrate what’s working and tweak what’s not.
June: Shift focus to relationships.
Why it matters: How you show up in relationships often mirrors your internal mindset. Improving your interactions strengthens connections and reduces stress. How to do it: Choose one relationship to improve. Focus on showing up with patience, empathy, or clarity. Notice how your mindset affects your interactions.
July: Reflect on your time management.
Why it matters: Aligning how you spend your time with what matters most creates balance and fulfillment. How to do it: Track your time for a week. Look for areas to adjust, like setting work boundaries or scheduling self-care.
August: Strengthen your focus.
Why it matters: Distractions drain your energy and productivity. Strengthening your focus helps you achieve more in less time. How to do it: Practice single-tasking. Turn off notifications, close unnecessary tabs, and set timers for focused work sessions.
September: Deepen your emotional management.
Why it matters: Challenges are inevitable. Managing your emotions helps you stay calm and centered, no matter the circumstances. How to do it: Identify one recurring stressful scenario and practice shifting your thoughts to stay composed.
October: Revisit your goals.
Why it matters: Realignment ensures your efforts are still moving you toward what matters most. How to do it: Review your goals and progress. Adjust your thoughts and actions to stay on track.
November: Celebrate your progress.
Why it matters: Acknowledging your wins builds confidence and motivation to keep going. How to do it: Reflect on how far you’ve come. Write down your achievements and share them with someone who supports you.
December: Plan for the year ahead.
Why it matters: Building on progress ensures continued growth. Starting with a plan sets the tone for the new year. How to do it: Reflect on what worked this year. Create a simple, sustainable plan for continued success, focusing on small, intentional shifts.
The bottom line is that you don’t need to change everything all at once. By taking it one step at a time, you’ll not only see progress over the next 12 months but also create a framework you can keep using year after year. It’s all about showing up for yourself in small, consistent ways—and those small steps add up to something big.
Questions to consider
Question: What’s one area of my life I want to feel better about by this time next year?
Think about where you’re feeling the most stuck or stressed. What’s the one area that, if it improved, would make the biggest difference? For example, maybe you feel like your work-life balance is out of control. You’re always working late, missing out on time with your kids, and feeling guilty about both. Improving this area could have a ripple effect, helping you feel more present at home and more productive at work.
Question: What’s one thought I can practice shifting this month to help with that area?
Ask yourself: What unhelpful thought might be holding me back? For example, if you often think, “I have to do everything myself,” it can leave you feeling overwhelmed and resentful. A small shift might be, “It’s okay to ask for help.” This new thought can help you delegate tasks or set boundaries more confidently.
Question: What’s one small action I can commit to this month to support that thought?
Think about what you could do to match that new thought. Keep it simple—just one action you can do consistently. For example, If you’re practicing the thought, “It’s okay to ask for help,” the action could be delegating one task at work or asking your partner to handle bedtime twice a week. Small actions reinforce new thoughts and make them easier to believe over time.