Make sure you stay to the end because I’m going to share a personal story about how my brain recently got stuck on repeat and what I did about it.
Have you ever noticed how your brain can latch onto a single thought and refuse to let go? Maybe it’s replaying an awkward moment, overthinking something you said, or obsessing about what someone else might be thinking. It’s like a broken record, looping over and over, and no matter how hard you try, it just won’t stop.
This kind of mental replay can be exhausting. It’s not just draining your energy—it’s stealing your time and focus too.
You sit there, caught up in the loop, wishing your brain had an “off” switch. But the harder you try to push the thought away, the louder it seems to get.
Why does this happen? Why does your brain decide to cling so tightly to something, even when you don’t want it to? And why does it feel like fixing the problem right now is the only thing that will make it stop?
The truth is, everyone experiences this at some point. Whether it’s replaying a conversation, worrying about the future, or second-guessing a decision, our minds have a way of grabbing onto certain thoughts and holding on for dear life. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s helpful—or that you have to stay stuck in the loop.
What if there was a way to break free from this mental hamster wheel? What if you could notice the loop, understand why it’s happening, and then shift your focus to something that actually matters? Imagine how much lighter and more in control you’d feel.
Here’s something to think about: what are these loops costing you? Time with your family? A sense of peace? Progress on something important? What would it feel like to stop spinning your wheels and start using that mental energy for something more meaningful?
This isn’t about blaming yourself for having these thoughts. It’s about understanding that your brain sometimes creates these loops to feel safe or in control—even when it’s not really helping. The good news is, you’re not powerless. You can learn to recognize when it’s happening and choose a different path.
So, how do you do it? How do you take back control when your brain feels stuck on repeat? Let’s dive in and figure it out together.
This week, I’m going to discuss why thought loops happen, how to recognize and redirect thought loops, and my personal example of breaking a thought loop.
Why thought loops happen
Thought loops don’t happen because there’s something wrong with you—they’re just your brain doing its job, a little too well. Your brain is wired to focus on things that feel like problems, even if they’re not as urgent or important as they seem. It’s a survival instinct that kept our ancestors alive, but today, it can leave us stuck in mental overdrive.
For accountant moms, thought loops can pop up in all kinds of ways. Maybe you can’t stop replaying a conversation with a client, wondering if you said the wrong thing. Or you keep checking your email, afraid you might have missed something critical. It might even be obsessing over whether the numbers on that report add up perfectly, even though you’ve already triple-checked them.
The tricky part is that these loops always come with a sense of urgency. Your brain tells you that you must solve this problem right now or something bad will happen. Even when you know, deep down, that it’s not as big of a deal as it feels, the thought keeps pressing, like a flashing warning sign you can’t ignore.
The harder you try to stop the loop, the more stuck you feel. Resisting it—telling yourself to just stop worrying or to let it go—only seems to make it louder. Before you know it, you’re exhausted, frustrated, and even more distracted than when it started. It’s like quicksand—the more you fight, the deeper you sink.
So, why does this happen? It’s because your brain sees unresolved issues or potential mistakes as threats. Whether it’s a prehistoric predator or a typo on a client’s tax return, your brain reacts the same way—by sounding the alarm. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always know when to turn the alarm off.
Thought loops may feel like they’re protecting you, but they’re really just draining your energy and focus. And unless you learn to work with your brain instead of fighting against it, they’ll keep showing up. But here’s the good news: understanding why they happen is the first step to breaking free.
Now let’s talk about how to recognize and redirect those thought loops.
How to recognize and redirect thought loops
Breaking free from thought loops isn’t about forcing yourself to stop thinking—it’s about recognizing what’s happening and choosing a better response. Here’s a step-by-step process to help you manage these loops, with examples along the way:
Step 1: Identify the Thought Loop
Ask yourself two simple questions:
“What do I think has gone wrong?”
“What am I really wanting?”
These questions help you understand why your brain is stuck on repeat.
For example, let’s say you can’t stop replaying a client meeting where you stumbled over an explanation. Ask yourself, “What do I think has gone wrong?” Maybe your answer is, “I sounded unprepared.” Then ask, “What am I really wanting?” The answer might be, “I want the client to trust me.” Now you’ve pinpointed what’s driving the loop—it’s not about the mistake itself but about feeling respected and competent.
Step 2: Reframe and Observe
Separate your logical brain from your reactive brain. Remind yourself that your primitive brain is overreacting to a situation that isn’t life-threatening. Visualize the thought loop as a cloud passing by—acknowledge it, but don’t grab onto it.
For example, if you’re obsessively checking email because you’re worried about missing something, tell yourself, “This is just my brain trying to feel in control.” Picture the urge to check your email as a cloud floating across the sky. You see it, but you don’t have to act on it. This simple visualization can help create a little distance between you and the thought.
Step 3: Redirect the Energy
Instead of resisting the thought loop, take the energy it’s creating and channel it into something productive. Focus on a task or activity that gives you a sense of accomplishment or relief.
For example, if you’re replaying a mistake in your head, redirect that focus into organizing your workspace or clearing out your inbox. Or if you can’t stop worrying about a report, use that energy to finish a different project or step outside for a quick walk to reset your brain.
One accountant I know was stuck in a loop about whether they missed a deduction for a client. Instead of rechecking their work again, they used the energy to update their tax software for the next project.
Step 4: Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Thought loops aren’t a failure on your part—they’re just how the brain tries to process things. Use affirmations or calming reminders to quiet the urgency.
For example, repeat to yourself, “This doesn’t matter in the big picture,” or “It’s okay not to have all the answers right now.” Or if you feel guilty about a perceived mistake, remind yourself, “I did my best with the information I had at the time.”
One of my coaching clients told me they started saying, “This doesn’t define me,” whenever they felt stuck in a loop. It helped them release the need to fix every little thing.
Step 5: Build a New Habit
Every time you catch and redirect a thought loop, you’re training your brain to respond differently. Over time, these steps will feel more natural, and the loops will lose their grip on you.
For example, if you notice a loop starting, go back to step one and follow them immediately. One accountant I coached made it a habit to pause, take a deep breath, and write down their looping thought. This simple action gave them enough distance to move forward without getting stuck.
Thought loops are normal, but they don’t have to run your life. By identifying them, observing them, redirecting the energy, and being kind to yourself, you can break free and put your mental energy toward what truly matters.
The bottom line is that thought loops can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to control you. By recognizing when they happen, observing them without judgment, and redirecting the energy into something more useful, you can take back your focus and peace of mind.
It’s not about being perfect or stopping the loops entirely—it’s about learning how to work with your brain instead of fighting against it. The more you practice these steps, the easier it becomes to let go and move forward. And that’s a skill that will serve you in every area of your life.
A personal example of breaking a thought loop
I want to share a recent example of how I got stuck in a thought loop and what helped me break free.
The other day, my boss sent me an email reply that was downright nasty. It caught me off guard. And when I pushed back, he sent an apology email—but to me, it felt self-serving.
But here’s the part that really got me stuck: In his email, he wrote, “I try my best to accommodate you.”
That one sentence sent my brain into a spiral. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What did he mean by ‘accommodate’? Did he think he was doing me a favor? Was he implying I was difficult to work with?
My brain latched onto that phrase like a dog with a bone, replaying it over and over, trying to dissect every possible meaning.
And the more I tried to stop thinking about it, the worse it got. It was like my brain refused to let go until I figured out the perfect response or the perfect way to justify my frustration. But of course, that’s not how this works.
I finally told my husband, “I need help getting out of this thought loop.” He listened, and then he said something so simple, but so powerful:
“Every time you think about him, tell yourself: He’s not worth it. He’s not worth the stress. He’s not worth your mental energy. He’s not worth your peace.”
And you know what? That worked. Every time my brain tried to pull me back into that loop, I repeated those words. It was like flipping a switch. Instead of getting stuck in the spin, I reminded myself that my peace of mind was worth more than analyzing every word of his email, especially as I’m dealing with chemo therapy and my cancer diagnosis.
This is exactly what I’ve been talking about today. Thought loops feel urgent, but they aren’t actually helpful. When you can recognize them, acknowledge what’s really going on, and redirect your brain, you take back your power.
So if you find yourself stuck in a thought loop this week, try what my husband told me. Pick a sentence that shifts your focus, something that reminds you of what really matters. Because your energy is too valuable to waste on something or someone that isn’t serving you.
Questions to consider
Question: “What do I think has gone wrong here?”
This question helps you pinpoint what’s triggering the thought loop. Often, the loop isn’t about what’s happening right now but about an unresolved fear or worry. For example, if you’re obsessing over a mistake in an email, you might realize you’re actually worried about how others perceive your professionalism. Identifying the real issue lets you address it more thoughtfully instead of staying stuck in the loop.
Question: “What am I really wanting?”
This question helps you uncover the deeper need behind the loop. Are you looking for reassurance, validation, or a sense of control? For example, if you keep checking your phone for an email reply, the real need might be for closure or connection. When you know what you’re truly seeking, you can find healthier ways to meet that need.
Question: “How can I redirect this energy into something productive?”
Instead of letting the loop drain you, think about how you can channel that energy into something positive. For example, if you’re worrying about a client’s feedback, you might redirect that focus into preparing for your next project or organizing your workspace. Redirecting helps you shift from feeling stuck to feeling accomplished, even if the original issue isn’t fully resolved.