Have you ever stopped to think about all the amazing things you’ve done in your life? It’s so easy to get caught up in what still needs to happen, but how often do you take a moment to celebrate what you’ve already accomplished?
We spend so much time chasing goals and making plans for the future that we rarely pause to look back. And when we do, it’s often to focus on what we wish we’d done differently, not what we got right.
But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead of always thinking about what’s next, we made a habit of appreciating how far we’ve already come?
There’s something powerful about seeing your own growth written down in front of you. It’s not about bragging or being overly sentimental—it’s about reminding yourself that you’re stronger, smarter, and more capable than you sometimes realize.
Arthur C. Brooks talks about this idea in his book From Strength to Strength. He suggests creating a Reverse Bucket List—a list of everything you’ve already done that’s meaningful to you—as a way to find happiness and purpose in the present instead of always chasing the future.
I’ll explain it more in detail in a minute, but for working moms, especially, this kind of reflection can feel like a breath of fresh air. Between work deadlines, school pickups, and everything else on your plate, it’s easy to forget just how much you’re balancing and accomplishing every single day.
Have you ever thought about all the things you’ve done in the past year alone? Not just the big milestones but the small victories that probably felt insignificant at the time but added up to something incredible.
Sometimes, we need a little nudge to stop and acknowledge ourselves. That’s where the idea of a Reverse Bucket List comes in—a simple way to see your life through a more compassionate and celebratory lens.
So, here’s my question for you: If you wrote down all the moments you’re proud of, what would you discover about yourself? Would you see a woman who’s been doing far more than she gives herself credit for?
This isn’t about adding one more thing to your to-do list or finding yet another way to measure your success. It’s about giving yourself the credit you deserve and feeling proud of the life you’ve built so far.
By the end of this, you might just see things differently—not only about what you’ve done but also about how you move forward. And trust me, it’s worth it.
This week, I’m going to discuss the problem of forgetting to pause and reflect and the transformative power of a Reverse Bucket List.
Forgetting to pause and reflect
How often do you feel like you’re just racing to get to the next thing? The next deadline at work, the next big milestone for your family, or even the next self-improvement goal you’ve set for yourself? It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
For most of us, the moment we cross something off our to-do list, we’re already thinking about what’s next. There’s no pause, no moment to take it all in. It’s like life is one big sprint with no finish line in sight.
And while that might feel normal, it’s actually working against you. Our brains are wired to focus on what’s ahead rather than what’s behind. This might be great for staying motivated, but it also means we rarely give ourselves a chance to stop and appreciate how much we’ve already accomplished.
It’s not just about your brain, though—society reinforces this constant push forward. Especially for working moms, there’s this unspoken rule that your worth is tied to how much you can juggle and how efficiently you can do it. Productivity becomes the gold standard, while personal fulfillment takes a back seat.
When was the last time you gave yourself credit for the small wins? Not the big, flashy achievements, but the quiet moments where you showed up, made it through, or handled something that felt overwhelming at the time? Those moments matter, but they often get lost in the shuffle.
The problem is, when we stay locked in this “what’s next” mindset, we never really feel like we’ve done enough. Even when we’re making progress, it doesn’t feel satisfying because we’re too busy moving on to the next challenge.
But what if it didn’t have to be this way? What if you gave yourself permission to pause and reflect—not just once a year, but regularly? What if those moments of looking back could actually help you move forward with more clarity and confidence?
Maybe it’s time to try something different. Because constantly chasing the next thing isn’t the only way to live. What if the secret to feeling more fulfilled is hidden in the things you’ve already done?
The transformative power of the Reverse Bucket List
So, what is a reverse bucket list anyway? A Reverse Bucket List is basically the opposite of a traditional bucket list.
Instead of writing down all the things you want to do someday, you make a list of everything you’ve already done that you’re proud of. It’s like hitting pause and saying, “Wow, look at what I’ve accomplished!” instead of always focusing on what’s next.
Think of it as a way to celebrate your journey so far. You’re not just crossing things off a future to-do list—you’re looking back and giving yourself credit for the big wins, the small victories, and even the tough moments you made it through.
For example, a regular bucket list might have things like traveling to Italy, running a marathon, or getting a big promotion. A Reverse Bucket List is more like, “Remember that time I pulled off that big project at work while juggling family life?” or “I finally stood up for myself and set a boundary, and it felt amazing.” It’s all about honoring what you’ve already done instead of focusing on what you still think you need to do.
It’s not about being perfect or comparing yourself to anyone else. It’s about saying, “I’ve already done so much, and I’m proud of it.” Sometimes we forget to do that, don’t we? A Reverse Bucket List is just a way to remind yourself of how far you’ve come.
The first step to creating your Reverse Bucket List is to reflect. This doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. Just sit down with a quiet moment and think about the highlights of your life so far.
Maybe it’s personal—like getting through those sleepless nights with a newborn or finding creative ways to make birthdays special during tough financial times. Or maybe it’s professional—like landing that first big client, navigating a demanding project under impossible deadlines, or deciding to finally advocate for a well-deserved raise.
Reflection often brings up things you might not have thought about in years. What about the time you juggled three kids’ schedules while finishing your degree? Or when you stepped out of your comfort zone to try something new—like starting your own side hustle or taking on a leadership role at work?
These moments are the ones that shape you, and they deserve to be remembered.
Next, it’s time to write your list. There’s something powerful about putting it all down on paper. Big moments like buying your first home or running a marathon can share space with smaller, deeply personal wins—like staying calm during a chaotic morning or finding the courage to say no to something that didn’t feel right.
Maybe it’s the time you hosted Thanksgiving for the first time and pulled it off without a hitch, or when you took a chance and introduced yourself to someone who’s now a close friend.
If you’re feeling stuck, think about your day-to-day life. Do you realize how many small victories you’ve had, like managing work calls while comforting a sick child or keeping it together during an exhausting tax season?
Those moments of grace and determination matter just as much as the big ones.
But the real transformation comes in the third step: celebrate. This is the part where you sit with your list and let it really sink in.
Maybe you pour yourself a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and take a few quiet minutes to read through it. Let yourself feel proud, not just for what you’ve done, but for the person you’ve become in the process.
When you take the time to recognize your wins, it’s like a gentle reminder to your brain that you’re capable and resilient. This simple act of reflection can quiet those nagging doubts that creep in when life feels overwhelming. It helps you see that even on the toughest days, you’ve shown up and done more than enough.
Celebrating isn’t about boasting or being unrealistic—it’s about honoring the work and love you’ve poured into your life. And in a world that constantly pulls you toward “what’s next,” it’s also a way to find calm and contentment in the present moment.
And here’s where it gets even better: you can share this practice with your family. Imagine asking your kids to create their own Reverse Bucket Lists.
You might hear things like, “I finally made the soccer team,” or “I helped a friend who was having a hard day.” Sharing these lists can start a conversation about how important it is to notice and celebrate what’s going right in our lives.
You’re not just teaching gratitude—you’re creating a culture of it in your home.
This isn’t just a one-time exercise. It’s a practice that can change the way you see yourself and your journey. When you’re constantly focused on what’s next, it’s easy to feel like you’re always falling short. But when you take the time to reflect, write, and celebrate, you’ll see a different story—a story of resilience, courage, and growth.
So grab a notebook, pour yourself a cup of tea, and start writing your Reverse Bucket List. You might just realize that you’ve been doing better than you ever gave yourself credit for. And that’s something worth celebrating—not just today, but every day.
Questions to consider
Question: What are three moments in my life that I’m most proud of, and why?
Take a second and really think about this one. What are those moments that make you smile when you look back? Maybe it was standing up for yourself in a tough situation, hitting a goal you weren’t sure you could reach, or even just getting through a really hard day. These don’t have to be flashy—sometimes the quiet wins are the ones that matter most. Thinking about these moments helps you see just how strong and capable you are.
Question: What small victories have I overlooked that deserve recognition?
It’s easy to focus on the big wins, but what about the small things that made those big moments possible? Think about the times you stayed calm in chaos, managed to juggle work and family without dropping the ball, or finally said “no” to something that didn’t feel right. These little victories add up, even if they don’t feel like a big deal at the time. Sometimes, it’s the smallest things that show just how much you’re capable of.
Question: How would my life feel different if I gave myself more credit for what I’ve already done?
Imagine if, instead of constantly thinking about what’s next, you actually let yourself feel proud of what you’ve already accomplished. How would that change things for you? Maybe you’d feel more confident, less stressed, or even more motivated to tackle the next thing on your list. Giving yourself credit doesn’t just feel good—it can shift the way you see yourself and help you realize you’re already doing better than you think.